The Come Up

Chapter 33 - Why am I here?

"If we cut the beat right where you spit these 8 bars then bring it back in here"- Mac points to squiggly lines on the monitor-"then we get a better impact and it completely stands out." 

The studio is quiet apart from all the work we are doing in studio C. I have my hands deep into my hoodie and though I am still a bit tired for it being so early in the morning, I am still giving my all to this studio session. 

Mac said we needed to release another single before the week ends, something that will set the tone for the entire album, something that will have enough of an impact to hype the album up so much that we barely need to promote. That's a lot of pressure, but it's good pressure. It pushes me more than I would have naturally pushed myself. 

"Go back in the booth and knockout this verse, give me energy and character." He says. 

The past few days I've gotten to focus so little on school that I forget I am attending, I skipped a few classes so I can write the verses or rewrite the hooks. I haven't told Mac, but there are midterms coming up that I am completely not prepared for. And the weight is beginning to weigh on my chest. 

After I drop the verse, Mac cuts the track and calls me back out of the booth. 

I sit down in front of him and he stares at me with his eyebrows pointing down. 

"What's on your mind?" He asks. My spinning chair moves from side to side and I look at him, ready to pretend nothing is on my mind but when I look into his eyes, I see that it would be impossible to lie. 

So I don't even try it. 

"I'm behind in school, it's becoming hard to balance both worlds with everything we're preparing for." I say quietly. 

He nods understanding. 

"I thought this would happen sooner or later and it's honestly going to get much busier. So I thought ahead of you." He replies. 

I feel the wrinkles in my forehead as confusion sits on my face. 

"What did you think of?" I ask curious. 

"It depends on how you answer this question, Chanel. What do you want more at the moment?  Your college degree or a shot at being a musical female legend. Not even female, just a musical legend in general?" He leans forward and places his hands on his knees staring at me.

"If you want your degree, you are just going to have to work harder on time management and you can do that if you put your mind to it." 

I stare to the side of him at the wall that holds countless awards, plaques and Grammy's and I want it more than anything, but I was in school for my poetry. A different part of me that I really wanted to develop. 

"If you want to be in the music game, Blaco already obtained the papers you would have to sign and fill out for either a leave of absence or complete withdrawal. The leave of absence gives you 8 quarters to return to the school, the withdrawal takes you out completely. You can still go through the process and reapply when you're ready. But you might be rolling around in too much bread." He finishes. 

The humor goes over my head as my brain wraps around leaving the University I worked so hard to get into. 

"If it makes you feel better, schools usually take back stars easily. It's good for their publicity. In a matter of months their attendance is going to spike JUST because you spent a few months there." Mac chuckles deeply. 

I give him a half smile. 

"I'll give you the rest of the day to go home and think about it." He says "Your head isn't here and your fans require your head to be here for this project."