The Come Up

Chapter 38 - Caretakers

"Go to my place for a few minutes, Chan. You can shower and then come right back. I won't leave ya Mom." Trisha says standing by Ma's bedside. 

I look at Ma's emotionless face, she has been sleeping for two days now, and I've been here the whole time battling with my thoughts and different emotions. Battling with the fact that this shit is really my fault. 

The last news I got on Flex was that the bullets were out, but his stomach and the surrounding tissue gave even more problems. He was still fighting for his life. They put him up in ICU so they can monitor him. Dr. Ben says that the surgery might have been too much for his body and that there is a possibility of organ failure. But I try to keep my hopes as high as I can. 

"Come on, Chan. You gotta take a break from this place. Just for 2 hours. I can have Pookie come and take you then bring you back. Just so you have some comp-" 

"No." I say sharply. "I'll go by myself." 

She looks taken aback. Too surprised, like she didn't know why I was mad at him. Like he hasn't told her. 

"Do you not know what he did?" I ask glaring at her. They tell each other everything in the world, but he fails to tell her this. 

She looks at me and shakes her head innocently. Almost like a fragile child. 

"Hm. You should call and ask him." I respond. 

I gather my things and slide into my sweater and coat. I smelled fine but a shower would be nice and a toothbrush and mouthwash. 

"You can borrow some clothes from my closet. The towels and wash rags are in the bathroom cabinet and there's an extra toothbrush in my top drawer." She says quietly. She takes my seat next to Ma and slides her fingers through Ma's fingers. 

"Thanks, girl." I say politely. 

I walk up to Ma and kiss her on the forehead then on the cheek. 

"I'll be right back. If you're going to wake up, just hold on a second." I say firmly. 

I turn to Trisha who has zoned out on her phone, texting Pookie i'm guessing. 

"Call me if anything happens." I say quickly. I leave before Pookie tells her the dumb shit he's done. As I close the door behind me, I hear Trisha faintly. 

"Oh my God." I hear the pain through the doors anyway and walk away from the room faster. 

As I go down to the lobby, hospital security stops me. 

"Chanel, come wit us." They say reassuringly. 

I look past them to the main entrance and it seems that even more paparazzi and news channels are out there now than before. 

I follow the men in the security suits, they are both black and I wonder briefly why it is that the black men are securities and the white men are doctors. There are many black doctors but why don't I see more. We walk to a sketchy part of the hospital in the back. 

We pass multiple doors, go down stairs, then back up different stairs to an emergency exit. 

One of the guards enter a code to disarm the alarm and then he pushes the door open. I am at the very back of the hospital with a large fence keeping anyone from getting in. 

One guard stays at the emergency door and the other guard walks me to the door of the fence and opens that with a key. 

"Continue walking down this block right here, the 3 train is around the corner, or one of us can stay with you until you get a cab." He says lightly.