Glass Promises

Chapter Three

The alarm went off, signaling the end of the weekend and once again the beginning of the school week. Back to the same old routine. The weekend was fairly relaxing and I got it completely to myself, no Zero. It was peaceful. Here we go again. I went through my usual morning routine, eating, changing and getting to the bus.

I arrived at school, more awake than on Friday. Thankfully I had actually gotten a decent amount of sleep last night. I saw Jay running up to me. "Hey." I greeted, giving a smile to her. "How was you weekend?" She asked, returning the greeting with a welcoming smile. "Amazing, actually. I made a huge blanket fort and watched movies the whole time." I laughed slightly at myself, looking down. "How about you?" I asked as we walked into the crowd of people. "Basically the same thing but without the fort." She answered. "Dude, you could've come over, it would've been fine and you know that." I punched her lightly on the arm in a joking sort of way. "Yeah, yeah, yeah." She rolled her eyes.

First Period. I lost all my previous energy, boring classes make it hard to keep a fun, smiling attitude. I don't see the point in having classes so early. I leaned on my arm, staring lazily at the board. I wasn't tired, it more just  a sense of boredom, hanging on to me.

"Hey" He sneered. I sighed at the all too familiar voice. This isn't exactly the distraction I had wanted. This was not a feeling of relief from boredom. This was a feeling of complete emptiness. I muttered quietly. I wasn't going to respond to him. I couldn't respond to him. I'm in class.

"What's wrong?" He asked in a mocking tone. A shaky breath escapes my mouth. Before I knew it, the class was over. I have to admit, time passed faster while trying to ignore Zero, although it's not ideal.

Finally the day was over, but know, my mind was free from the distraction of class. I finished my homework on the bumpy bus ride home, seeing as I had nothing else to do. "No excuses now." Zero taunted. I closed my eyes, squeezing my eyelids shut.

"You know that won't work."

The bus doors squeaked open and I gladly walked out of the bus. I began walking, holding my head down and shaking it slightly. "Go away." I mumbled.
"No, why should I? He replied rudely

I rubbed my forehead and bit my lip. This was torture. I reached behind me and unzipped the front part of my backpack. I took my phone out of the pouch and texted Jay with shaky hands.

"Hey"

"Hey"

"I...I can't do this. I forgot how hard this was and I can't live like this" I typed

"No, you can. If you beat him once then I know you can do this again, You're strong"

I read the message and put my phone in my pocket, opening the door as I reached my house. I flopped onto my bed, looking up at the ceiling. "I don't understand how something that isn't real can have such an impact on my life..." I said quietly to myself. Wait, no, I'm wrong. He's very much real. He is my fear. My insecurities. Everything I dislike about myself. "I want to be gone..." I whisper. "Don't be afraid." I close my eyes, speaking quietly.

Nothing. That's all there is. Will I ever be anything? No, of course not. I am nothing. I feel like I'm sinking. I can feel the coldness of dark wrap it's unforgiving tendrils round me. It drags me deeper and deeper into my regrets. Zero. He controls it all.  And that's how I feel, like a zero. And that's how much the opinions of other people should matter to me, zero. I can't help it though. I care what others think  and it will be my down bringing. I have lost my confidence. I can feel people getting sick of my presence and complaints. I can't say I'm surprised though. Even I'm annoyed with myself. I hate it all and I wish it was easier. But that's not possible is it? Not with Zero. It's so hard to feel happy with him around. Around him, I feel like my life will be nothing and I will forever live like this until I can't anymore. But Jay, Jay gives me hope. Jay believes in me and it means a lot to me. I can't even believe in myself. Jay is a gift to me, I'm lucky in my own little way.

{I apologize that this one is so short but I'm having a bit of writer's block. And thank you to the ones that are actually reading my story! idk why you would want to but it means a lot so thank you so much! :)}