Glass Promises

Chapter Six

"You. Know. You're. Worthless. Right?"  Why the hell cant he just leave me alone! I thought I was free...  Why during summer? I sighed, pulling the blankets over my head in frustration. It was like a desperate attempt to keep him out of my head. I closed my eyes tightly, willing it to all go away. As time passed, the air beneath the blanket got thicker and warmer with each exhalation. "You. Can't. Stay. In. There. Forever." He whispered in a chilling voice. As much as I hated to admit, he was right. After what was probably about a few more minutes, I pulled the blanket down, cooler air rushing over me and under the blanket. My lungs welcomed the fresh air as I took deep, scared breaths. Like a child, I felt exposed to the monster. Although this monster isn't under my bed, he's in my head. I prop myself up slightly on a pillow and lean back, now feeling unfortunately more awake. I glanced over at my phone on the bedside table, my small lamp casting a dim glow over the area. Recently I had begun sleeping with a dim light to try to calm myself and have something to focus on. I suppose it's helped a bit but I'm not sure how much longer it'll last. My mind is racing. I go to reach for the phone but slowly retract my hand. "Yeah. Thats. The. Smartest. Thing. You've. Done. She. Won't. Want. To. Talk. To. You. So. Early." Zero tells me in my ear. And I believed him. More and more he's convinced me into silencing myself in my times of need. I keep hitting new lows and considering just stopping everything. It can't be so bad, we'd both get what we want, in the end. I slump back down, into an admittedly uncomfortable position. And somehow like this, I drift into a light sleep filled with tossing and turning in hopes of getting comfortable. Even when sleeping I can't rest. Just a few hours of sleep. Please. 3:30,  the red numbers say. "Never."

[much shorter than I had intended but yeah, I might continue this now. Hoping for the best]