The Fault in Our Infinities~ TFIOS Fanfiction

Chapter One

It had been just a little over a year, but it felt like longer. It was like an eternity without air. Without light. Without love.

Hazel couldn't help but feeling like part of her died with Augustus that day. She didn't want to eat, live, breathe, or talk to anyone... except for him.

He was a shining star in the dark night that was her life without Augustus. Even without his sight, he managed to memorize the soft contours of her face, the constellations of the lines on her hands. He had taught her to love again, when she thought she never would.

This morning was the same as any other since Augustus died. Without fail, every morning, she would awaken to the gentle noise of her ringtone, signifying that Isaac was finally calling to wake her. This was easily the best part of her day.

Today at seven thirty exactly she heard that beautiful noise.

"Good morning Hazel Grace," he spoke sweetly and groggily.

"Good morning Isaac," she said, mimicking his tone.

"Sassy much this morning?"

"I'm sorry if I came off that way, but I just have a lot on my mind right now," she rubbed her temples. She thought she was getting a headache. This is what happens when she is stressed. Calm down she told herself. She had nothing to worry about. Right? I feel fine. She kept repeating this to herself, almost like a motto.

I feel fine.

I feel fine.

I'm fine.

Fine.

"Oh." Isaac said, not sure how to respond. "A lot on my mind" for Hazel could be a wide array of things ranging from something as insignificant as a cliff hanger in her favourite TV show to missing Augustus to finding out that she has less time on this world then she thought; Hazel, fortunately, is in remission.

"We are going to the hospital today for a test... It will tell me if it is getting worse." Hazel and Isaac knew that it meant the cancer, but Hazel didn't like mentioning that word. It was like mentioning it gave it power, and it didn't deserve power. Hazel deserved the power. Hazel was in control.

"Repeat after me." Isaac said.

"I."

"Isaac-"

"Do it, Hazel Grace."

"I..."

"I."

"Will be..."

"Will be."

"Fine."

"Fine." She said, her spirit beginning to lift.

"You still don't feel better." Isaac said, stubbornly.

"What time do you have to leave?" He quickly asked, changing the subject.

She looked at her watch that he bought for her on her half- birthday last year, "Crap! I'm late! Bye," She hung up on him, not even giving him the opportunity to say goodbye.

***

The next time she saw him was Wednesday in The Support Group meeting at The Literal Heart Of Jesus. For a teenager who had recently lost his vision, girlfriend, and best friend; he was usually pretty happy, but today there was a certain heaviness about him that Hazel couldn't quite explain. He didn't greet her with the usual "Hi Hazel Grace," salutation he always gave when she announced her presence. He simply managed to mumble a "Hey."

Hazel couldn't help but ask him what was wrong.

"Nothing." He had muttered, wishing nothing more than to ask Hazel if she was mad at him. She sat down beside him, and he fumbled with finding her hand, before engulfing it in his own. A ritual of sorts. She lightly squeezed it, before Patrick began his weekly rant about his fortunate ballslessness.

Twenty minutes later, he felt a light head rest itself on his shoulder. Five minutes later, he began to hear gentle snores, and he smiled, letting out a shallow, shaking breath, lest she wake up.

Let another twenty minutes pass, and Isaac found himself loathing the idea of waking her up, but knowing that he had to.

"Good morning, Hazel Grace." He said quietly.

"Good Morning, Isaac Whatever Your Middle Name Is."

"You'll never know." He said with a smile. Hazel grasped his hand, and helped pull him out of the chair.

"Thank you." He said, suddenly quiet and shy again.

"Now Isaac, about what I said before....Well, what is wrong?"

"I-it's-are you mad at me, Hazel Grace?"

She began to laugh, but caught herself. He was serious.

"Mad at you? Why on earth would I be mad at you?"

"You hung up on me. I didn't even get to say goodbye!"

"I was going to be late, though. It's not that I just wanted to get off the phone with you. Believe me, Isaac, if I were mad at you, you would know it," she smiled, "Plus, I really needed to her your voice that day, so it's not like I wasn't looking forward to your call."

"Why would you want to hear my ugly voice? Or get another corny wake up call?" She lead him up the stairs as he carried her oxygen tank, not far behind her.

"You wouldn't understand, and it's stupid, anyways..."

"What's 'stupid anyways'? I want to know what happens in your mind, Hazel Grace. What goes on in that beautiful mind of yours when you hear my repulsive voice?" He smiled.

"'Repulsive' isn't the word I'd use. More like smooth and sexy. Like an R&B singer..." She lightly stroked his back, part comfort, part guidance.

"An R&B singer... That's a first..."

"Really? I'm surprised. Anyways, it's just that you inspire me." She admitted, wishing she could look him in the eyes right now, and that those oversized sunglasses were not hiding his face.

"Please Hazel, I'm getting emotional!" Sarcasm. Typical Isaac.

"I'm serious. You do. For a guy who has gone through so much, and has lost his vision, something that I always used to take for granted, you just have such a great outlook on life, and just hearing your voice reminds me of that. You voice gives me strength, and God knows I needed a lot of strength that day."

"Oh, shut it." He said, blushing and nudging her back. He was surprised when he heard a small shriek, and in a moment was bracing Hazel against him, his chest to her back and the one hand attached to the arm that wasn't clutching her oxygen cart wrapped around her body, so that she was no longer falling down the stairs.

"I guess you really fell for me, huh?"