Addicted [phan]

philip micheal lester

A slight snore slips from the brunettes mouth and trails off. Phil can feel Dan's hand tightly intertwined with his. Phil, slowly and carefully lets go of Dan, lays on his back, and sighs. He sits up in the bed and turns his head to Dans, his plump pink lips. Smooth silky skin, his long eyelashes rests on his cheekbones.

Phil took every bit of him not to grab Dans waist, pull him close, and kiss him. Every night they slept next to each other, Phil fell for Dan even more. And he loved every bit of it. Waking up next to him, eating together, and well doing everything without having to be separated.

Before they met, Phil would live alone. He was extremely insecure, and had anxiety. Every waking moment of his day would be regret. Regret, that he hadn't drank the whole bottle of vodka, regret why he didn't take the 100 sleeping pills. But when he met Dan, all his problems faded away. It seemed that whenever he held Dan close, nothing else mattered. Wherever they were, it was almost like they were the only people in the world. No one could harm them...

The person that made Phil feel like this was Chris, Chris Kendall. In the beginning they were friends, just like any other friendship. Until, over skype. Phil confessed his love for Chris, he poured out his heart. When Phil finished talking, Chris stood there in awe. You see, Phil is bi, Chris is straight.
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"Phil you can always make me laugh"

"What do you mean..?"

"It's a joke right, I don't love you, and who really would. All you do is pick on yourself. You never wanna go outside thinking someone is going to judge you. When no one will. Who will love you when you can't love yourself. And sometimes, you can take your anxiety and shove it up yo-"
-----
Phil ended the call before he couldn't take anymore. His cheeks were flushed, his eyes were shot, Phil sat there frozen. His eyes were burning, they quickly filled up with tears. Once he stood up, he stumbled into the kitchen and grabbed the closest bottle of alcohol.

"Vodka"

It read, Phil quickly took off the bottle and stumbled back to his room. He plopped on the bed and chugged it down. Phil wrapped the covers around him.
He started to forget
Forget about his anxiety
Forget about Chris
Forget about his insecurities
He wanted to forget everything.
Phil never bothered to eat
It all seemed pointless to him

Phil met Dan 3 months later. Phil was at Starbucks, it was the first time he went outside in 3 weeks. Phil was ordering a drink and Dan accidentally bumped into him trying to get a straw. When Phil's drink fell everywhere... he saw Dans face. He was perfectly tanned, his eyes where like chocolate, he seemed so delicate. He had beautifully carved dimples on his checks, his body swayed. Phil was in a trance, he didn't care that his drink was spilled, as long as he got to stare at Dan.

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"Oh my god, I'm so sorry I wasn't paying attention, let me help you"

"O-oh it's fine, accidents happen"

"I'll buy you another one if you'd like"

"No it's not necessary"

"Are you sure"

"Yeah, but thanks"

"Um.. this may sound weird but, would you mind if we maybe.. sat together.. I'm new to London and it would be nice to meet someone?"

"Yeah, sure I can agree to that"
-----

Phil got a new cup of warm coffee and met Dan at a table that was placed right next to the window to admire the city. They talked about anything possible, where they were from, family, and past (sins not) tragedies. Once they finished their coffee they exchanged numbers, and both left back to their apartments. Let's just say that was the beginning to Phils new life.