Addicted [phan]

missing him

dans pov~

Phil -
I have become a silhouette, as if you walked from a photograph and left behind blackness. There is an ache that comes and goes, always returning in quiet moments. I want so much to keep you close, to talk and laugh like we once did and I know that your absence is down to me. Please understand that nothing good can come of this right now and I'd rather take the pain sooner than later. Maybe in a few years we can be together again, close, happy... Then we can have something that is actually good, that has a chance of lasting. I see you everywhere I go - in the things we both love - in nature, in music, in silly things. So though you are gone, your aura remains, beautiful and strong, making the pain all the worse, keeping the feelings so raw. In time I'll learn new skills to cope, I always do, I am a survivor after all. The passage of time can dull many things, allow the brain to redirect, reinvest energy elsewhere. In your tough times know that I still love you, that I'd come running if you ever had need, but for now our paths diverge and every step is heavy. I'm sorry.

sent.