Addicted [phan]

disorder

dans pov~

I feel a cold touch press against my thigh, it's vibrating. I reach into my pocket and see that my phone has gotten a notification. I go onto my phone to see what's the big fuss and why I would set today as a special date on my phone. I click the calendar and click the date of today.

'May 5th'

Today is Phil and I's anniversary of 2 years. I feel a warm salty tear fall down my cheek falling down the gray and rough pavement. I miss Phil I truly do, I don't know why I would say such untrue things to his face. Phil is no where near fat, he's pretty fit to be honest (I'm trash ik). The past few nights have been torture every night was suffocating coming to my potential death of emptiness. Knowing Phil would never forgive me is harder to cope with, yes I have done some pretty bad things but all Phil would do is just ignore me. I am bipolar, but I don't have the worst case I can control my emotions most times, but sometimes I can't and everything spills out of my mouth without me thinking how it will effect the person I'm talking to.

Usually Phil understands that, I'm getting treatment trying me best to get rid of this disorder. But this time, it's unforgivable, what I have done is shameful. Anyways, I bet the main reason Phil cursed and yelled was because it triggered one of our memories that happened when we first met.

f l a s h b a c k ~

phils pov~

I feel the sound of the music pound against my chest, making my vision blurry, I'm holding my wine glass tight making sure not to drop it. In front of me is Pj, we're talking about youtube and where we think it will take us. I see Dan in the other side of the room, I look at him, perfect and beautiful as usual. He isn't drinking anything because he is too young, and anyways if I were to get drunk he would have to drive us home, completely sober. Then, suddenly everything goes into slow motion I lose all interest in my conversation with Pj, to focus on the person behinf him with a smirk on his face. It's Chris, he stands there behind Pj, grinning I can tell he is about to do something to ruin me.

And just as I called it, he reached for Pj's shoulder and gets a good grip on it. Then looks at Dan, he looks at me and gives me that devilish grin.

"NO", I try to scream as loud as I can, but that does nothing. Chris pushes Pj into me, our lips collide.

"Hey Dan look a this", Chris shouts over to Dan. Dan looks at me my lips are still touching Pj's. I grasp what just happened and quickly pulled away. I look at Pj, our jaws are dropped we can't believe what just happened. But then, I look at Dan tears fill his eyes, he brings his hand to his mouth trying not to totally go off on me.

dans pov~

I hear a fimilar voice call my name, I look over to see Chris pointing at Phil and Pj. I angle my head so I can see them perfectly, maybe too perfect. When I look over I saw Phil and Pj kissing, Chris smiles, looking at me giggling. I didn't see what was so funny about this. Suddenly, I don't care whats happening around me. When I cried there was a rawness to it, like the pain was still an open wound. I would clasp onto something for support, anything, a table or the back of a chair, and then my whole body is shaking. The sobs were stifled at first as I attempted to hide my grief, then overcome by the wave of my emotions I can't break down entirely, all my defenses washed away in those salty tears. I lost Phil.

-----------
a/n
hehe... sorry it took so long