They said to leave my attitude at the door.
"It is usually about 4:20 every morning when I realize I'm a girl. In my dreams I'm always a boy. Don't ask me why.
During the day I go into town. I go to the gym, the supermarket, the museum, and the cemetery. I do that a lot.
My name is Mice Cartonia. It's pronounced Car•tone•ia, if you were wondering.
I was born in the southern part of Pacora. Pacora is a nice place in Panama. I love it here. I have a pet raccoon that lives with me and my mom and dad live in Thailand. They visit me on the weekends. Occasionally.
I have high hopes. I love hula hooping so I plan to make it big. Become famous. My favorite song is "Scream Aim Fire".
My fun fact of the day is: My great great great step aunt's grandfather met Joseph Stalin."
"Thank you, Mice.... Next!" Mr. Gun screeches.
"No problem, sir. Had a blast!" I say back. Man I love that teacher. He's pretty great.
I really love school. I have one friend name Gary and he's super cool. I know I can trust him. We always hang out together in and out of school. We party and we sleep. We eat and we pee, or poop. We have so much in common and he's one great baller.
Gary plays for the boys tennis team. He goes out and swings a metal stick and hits a ball around. When he gets it in the hole in the ground, I yell, "TOUCHDOWN! GO GARY!" Usually people give me weird looks and Gary puts his pointer finger over his lips but I clap loudly and raise my foam finger around.
After presenting to the class my 'All About Me' essay, I sit down at my desk. Everyone else goes and I get so jealous because I want to go again.
"Mr. Gun?" I say as I wave my right hand around in the air.
"Yes Mice?"
"May I pleeeaaaase go again if we have time?" I beg.
"Absolutely not Mice." He answers. He then punishes me and gives me book work.
"WOOOHOOOO! I LOVE BOOK WORK!" I scream. Five minutes later, I finish my assignment and turn it in. Everyone is done with their presentations so it's time for Mr. Gun's announcements.
"Ok class, you know what next week's agenda is? Family! That's right, on Friday there will be show and t-"
"YES! I'M SO EXCITED! OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH! WHAT AM I GOING TO BRING! A PICTURE? AN ITEM? MY RACCOON? AHH!" I am the only one screeching at the top of my lungs and Mr. Gun looks like he's about to whip out a bazooka. Lit.
The bell rings and it's time for lunch. I run to Gary and jump on his back with my backpack on and my lunch box in my hand. My lunch box flies across the room and explodes all over Mr. Gun's organized desk. Hot soup and potato chips go everywhere.
"HA MR. GUN! THAT'S WHAT I BROUGHT FOR LUNCH TOO!"
Mr. Gun probably couldn't make a more hideous face. But to be honest, I think it's kinda cool. His eyebrows look like birds and the corners of his lips start to spew white foam.
"Woah, Mr. Gun! You're so talented!" I start to applaud.
Mr. Gun grabs me and throws me out the door. Gary walks out right behind me and we slither to lunch together.
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