To save a Life

Life is normal, if that's what you can call it. I go to school, die a little inside because of it, and continue breathing but not really existing. That's normal for depressed teenagers' right? I guess I can call myself depressed, though I don't really like that word, it's too depressing.

Anyway, my name is Blue, I guess it's kind of ironic how down I am with this name. I'm very shy, which I hate about myself, quiet and I love to read. I don't have many friends and I used to get bullied a lot. Not much anymore because I don't talk to many people.

There's this one guy in two of my school classed that I talk to, he get's picked on for how smart he is. I guess you could call him a nerd, that's what most people call him, but not in a nice way. It really angers me, but I don't know how to get them to stop. I wish I was able to talk to people without having an anxiety attack.

His name is Marcel and he is the only one that makes my life feel worth living. I mean he's nice to me and is my best friend. He knows me better than anyone else. He knows about my issues with people, and sometimes he even laughs at how awkward I am around others. I've known him for about four years, but we've been great friends since the first day I arrived at the school.

I was used to having no friends, and honestly, I was expected to be bullied. Instead, I just went about, unnoticed, invisible. I tried talking to people on that first day, but was always ignored. That's when I first bumped into Marcel, I was flustered and couldn't find my next class when I looked down and accidentally bumped into him.

He had immediately flinched back thinking he was going to get beat up, but when he took in the site of me as I nearly fell to the floor with his taller than my small height of 5'2", he relaxed slightly. "S-sorry." He stuttered. "That's alright, I'm used to not being noticed." I had said the second part by accident. Marcel had given me a confused look. "You? I can't imagine that." Marcel had continued as we stood in the busy hall.

"Erm, yeah. Anyway, my name is Blue, I'm new at this school and to BC." "Oh, I'm Marcel." Marcel adjusted his glasses. His slightly gelled hair not looking at all out of place. I awkwardly smiled at him and he awkwardly smiled back. That was the first time I experienced butterflies when I saw his dimples highlighting his shining green eyes for the first time.

"Do you happen to know where room 400 is?" I asked. He nodded. "That's actually my next class. Come on." I followed Marcel's slim body as he wove his way through the crowd, but graciously made sure I didn't get lost on the way. As we entered the class together I quickly took a seat beside Marcel in the front row. "Um." Marcel began.

"Oh is this one of your friend's seats? I'm sorry." I said nervously, moving to get up as anxiety shot through me like a burning star. Of course a cute guy like him has friends Blue. "N-no. It's just you'll eventually learn that I'm not exactly who you want to hang out with." He had looked down at his books then.

"How do you know if I would want to hang out with you or not? You don't know me. And I think that I am capable of picking my own friends." At that moment someone who's name I soon learnt to be Charlie, threw a ball at Marcel's head.

"Do they do this to you a lot?" I had asked and Marcel shrugged. I clenched my fists, but class continued. Maybe they picked on him for his different clothing. I had glanced at his dark brown pants, white dress shirt with a brown checkered vest, and a brown tie. I didn't mind his clothes, but others might.

When we finally started hanging out after school, which took a lot of effort from both of us, because of us not being used to having friends; is when we began getting closer. The first time I went to his house was etched into my memory. I had walked to his house in the pouring rain. He had appeared to be holding back a laugh when he opened the door to see me.