From Shadows to Starlight

Changing Tides

Chapter Twenty-nine

“I have been wrong about you, thought I was strong without you. For so long nothing could move me, for so long nothing could change me. Now I feel myself surrender each time I see your face. I am captured by your beauty, your unassuming grace. And I feel my heart is turning, falling into place…” --Josh Groban

Changing Tides

“What?” All at once, Erik was filled with confusion and a sudden fear. His pulse quickened. “What do you mean?” Why would she ask me that?

“Who are you, Erik?” she repeated, her eyes earnestly searching his face.

He tore away from her gaze. “I’m…” he struggled for words. A liar. A murderer. A monster. “…your friend…aren’t I? What’s troubling you, Alana?”

The girl sighed. “I’m sorry. It’s just that when you didn’t come the past nights, I really started to worry about you, what with the fugitive the police are searching for.”

Erik tried to bury his feelings deep inside so that the look on his face would not incriminate him. The Phantom had always been good at that. Now he was able to meet Alana’s eyes as she spoke, a safe, blank expression on his face.

“I don’t know much about the situation,” she was saying, “but I know you have enemies, and I thought the fugitive could be one of them. Or that you’d fallen into some other kind of trap. I had no way of knowing. And that’s when I realized just how little I know about you.”

Is she suspicious of me? What am I supposed to tell her? Erik had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach now that was impossible to ignore, but he kept his emotions hidden beneath the surface. “The fact that I have enemies,” he began, “has forced me to keep many details of my life a secret. Forced me to stay out of the public eye.”

“Why do you have these enemies? What happened?” she asked, clearly distraught.

“I can’t tell you,” he said quietly.

“But why not? Don’t you trust me?” she asked, her sad eyes seeming to plead with him.

He felt a simultaneous tug of pain and a gentle warmth rising in his chest, and allowed his expression to soften. “Of course I do.” Alana was the only person in his life thus far who had not done anything to betray him or let him down somehow. “But there are some things in this world that cannot ever be spoken. The question is…can you trust me, with my secrets?”

She fixed the fullness of her gaze upon him again, and he met it, studying her face as she studied his. He wished he could tell her, so much. The secrets he hid from her were eating him alive, and yet, he knew he would have to carry them to the grave if he ever wanted to make some sort of life for himself. “I trust you,” she whispered finally. “You’ve given me no specific reason to doubt you, other than your secrets. But I can respect them. Just know that if you feel the time is right, you can tell me anything, anything at all.”

If only you knew all the things I can never tell you. Erik nodded. “Thank you. Now. Have you been practicing your music in my absence?” He was ready for a change of subject.

Alana grinned. “Of course I have. In fact,” her eyes gleamed mischievously, “I’ve probably accomplished more on my own than I would have if you’d been here!”

“I wouldn’t be too certain of that,” Erik said. “But let’s begin.”

She had practiced a great deal since he’d been gone. As he listened to her sing some simple but pretty verses, he realized just how much he had missed the sound of her voice. It was not a voice that would ever be heard in an opera, but it was beautiful just the same, soft and sweet, but with a layer of soulful pain beneath the surface. While he accompanied her on the piano, he watched her as she stood beside the instrument singing. Her eyes were closed as she sang, but from her face he could see the concentration and passion she had for this music. It was a special thing, he thought.