From Shadows to Starlight

Life and Death

Chapter Thirty-three

“As long as life is long, I’ll love him right or wrong, and somehow I’ll be strong, as long as he needs me. If you are lonely, then you will know…when someone needs you, you love them so. I won’t betray his trust, though people say I must. I’ve got to stay true just…as long as he needs me…”

--Oliver!

Life and Death

Erik did not struggle when several of the men lifted him off the ground. He felt nothing anymore. Christine was gone. It hurt him to the core that she’d decided once again to betray him, but his anger towards her was fading. Christine had scarcely changed since the day she’d first come to the opera house; she was still like a child. She was too easily manipulated by others, so much so that she never knew what she truly wanted. He could not bring himself to blame her for what had happened.

But everything was over between them now. The Angels of Music were no more.

But what hurt him more than anything, more than Christine’s betrayal, or the gunshot wound, or his the cuts on his face and the bruises on his body was the sight of Alana’s face when he’d confessed to her that all Damien had said was true. At first he’d thought she didn’t believe it, but then he saw her disappointment, and he saw her slowly turn her back on him. He saw her leave.

And that was when Erik resigned himself to his fate. He gave up and let the men carry him to the river’s edge, and before he knew it, he felt himself plunging into the icy depths. He sank until he’d nearly reached the bottom, the current of the water pulling him along slightly. He could see some of his own blood floating around him, but the frigid water numbed his pain, and he was grateful that he could die feeling nothing at all.

Death is coming, soon, so soon…

He’d so often wished to die, and now it was finally time to move on, to begin a journey to whatever awaited him. A world beyond this one. A world completely unfamiliar to him, though he could guess at what it would be like.

No more beauty. No more music. No more Alana.

Alana.

I’ll miss her so…

You don’t have to do this.

It’s too late, and I can’t go on in a world where she’s turned her back on me…

You can’t go on to a world where she isn’t there at all…

Get out of the water!

Suddenly, Erik was seized with an overwhelming panic. He kicked off from the pebbly river bottom, and made for the surface as fast as he could. His arms and legs didn’t want to move, but he forced them to. His lungs were screaming for air, and his vision was growing dark. He knew he was drowning. If he didn’t make it to the surface soon, he’d be dead.

But with one final push, his head came above water. Coughing and gasping for air, he tried to make for shore, but the current at the surface was strong and it pulled him quickly downstream. At times he was dragged down back beneath the water, and he feared again that he would drown, but he managed to keep his head up long enough to take those lifesaving breaths.

Erik didn’t know how long he could keep this up. His entire being was nothing but weariness. He had to survive, he had to, but he wasn’t sure he could. He needed to swim to the riverbank, but the current was too strong. The river dashed him up against tall rocks, and he didn’t know how much more he could take before he was either cut to pieces or drowned. He had to get out of the water somehow. As the current dragged him onward, he glimpsed through the spray a large rock not so far off downstream, near the shore. He was going to hit it dead on, and his only chance for survival was to hold on and climb up the rock, crawl across it, and slide down it to the ground.