Hidden Demons

Prologue

"Mr.Tomlinson, it's nothing that we can't help you with. There is plenty we have to offer you. Support groups, counselling and of course you will have your prescribed medication" the doctor told me, his eyes sympathetic and pitying.

I clutched at my head, the information not yet sinking in.

How could I, Louis Tomlinson, possibly have Bi-Polar disorder?

I mean these things just don't happen, this is crazy. I'm crazy.

All along people thought I was just a hyper active child, loving life and carefree. They thought I just had a abundance of energy and so did I. But as I grew older sometimes my 'energy' and 'excitement' would disappear and in it's place a veil of sadness and self hate would descend leaving me mentally and physically wiped out. My moods would change between weeks, for some weeks I would be bouncing of the walls and then the next couple of weeks I would be house bound, my confidence and self belief levels disappearing.

It was a relief to know that what I was experiencing had a name and that there was medicine for it which would help me to gain control over my emotions so that there aren't so many extremes.

But the thought that scared me the most was that, this is me. These erratic and forever changing mood swings are part of who I am. Everyone knows me as this bubbly and overly energetic person, so what'll happen when I'm put on these drugs which claim to make my emotions stable? Which claim to help the chemical imbalance in my brain? Won't it then take away a chunk of my personality and character? And then what will I be left with? A plain old boring human.

Will I even feel like me anymore?

I looked up at the doctor, no doubt the fear I was feeling showing so evidently through my eyes.

"Don't you worry, Mr. Tomlinson, we'll have you feeling back to normal in no time" he reassuringly spoke these words but if anything they made my heart and hope sink further more.

'Normal'?

What was I before?