Mars? Yeah Right!

Chapter 12

12

It took me another three hours to finish the shed, but at last I stumbled into the house dizzy from a combination of paint fumes and too much sun. Another contributing factor to my swirling, aching head was the weird visit I had just gotten from both Eamonn and Kevin. Why couldn't the two of them just leave me the hell alone?

I was just settling down for a good six hour slump in front of the tv when I heard the distinctive ring of the house phone (which in case you're wondering is a terrible, shrill rendition of Greensleeves). Groaning, I made my way out to the hall, glanced at the caller ID and picked up the receiver.

"Yeah Terry?"

"HE CALLED!!!!"

Wincing, I held the phone a couple of meters away, my skull throbbing slowly and painfully. When at last the still audible shrieking had stopped, I cautiously brought it back to my ear.

"I'm guessing it's Connor you're screaming about," I said tiredly.

"Obviously! Ohmigod Aine, I think I'm gonna die I'm so happy!"

I chuckled. "If you do that, won't it put a bit of a damper on the relationship?"

"Shut up! Don't you want to know where he's taking me?"

To be perfectly honest, no I didn't. But, dutiful friend that I am, I of course said the opposite. "Sure I do. Where are you going?"

"To that new Italien place in town! Isn't that just the sweetest, awesomest, most romantic thing you've ever heard in your entire freaking existance?!"

No. No it isn't.

"Sounds amazing dude." Then, sensing a lapse in the conversation I let out a big, fake yawn. "Listen Ter, I'm wrecked right now, Dad made me paint the shed, so I think I'm gonna-"

"Wait, you do know you're coming too, right?"

I froze, the pounding in my head reaching an almighty crescendo. "Excuse me? I'm what?"

"Well...part of the plan of our date is that...you come too. As Eamonn's date."

There was a long, sticky pause as I digested this. Then my brain caught up with the rest of me and I exploded down the phone at her.

"Are you kidding me?! No way! I'd sooner slit my own throat than go anywhere near that creeper!"

"But Connor told me you said yes when Eamonn asked you!"

"What-" Then it hit me and I cursed loudly and angrily as Eamonn's parting words came back to me in a rush. Expect to hear from me soon. After all, we've got a date to plan.

I took a very deep breath and counted to a hundred (ten just doesn't cut it for me these days). "Teresa. How long have we been friends now exactly?"

"Um...about twelve years. Why?"

"Because," I said through gritted teeth, "I'm trying to get my head around the fact that after that long, you still don't know that I would rather die a slow, agonising, botulism-related death  than go anywhere with a slimeball like Eamonn Daly!"

 Silence on the other end of the line. Then, "But why did Connor tell me you were coming just there?"

"Because Terry, " I said slowly, as if talking to an idiot, "Eamonn lied to him about my answer. He came over a few hours ago-"

"He came to your house?!"

I sighed. "Yes. Thank you so much for giving him my address by the way."

"Sorry."

"Whatever. I swear to Jesus, I'd strangle you were it not for the fact you amuse me so much."

Teresa laughed. "Cheers pal."

"Don't mention it.  Anyway, he asked, I said no and he fecked off to do whatever it is pain-in-the-ass-posers do in their spare time. But not before Kevin showed up and went all territorial on me. It was the most horrendous thing I'd ever seen in my entire life."

Teresa whistled down the phone at me. "Wow. So you now have two completely hot guys vying for your attention. You lucky lucky tart."

"Okay, A, in what way am I lucky? And B, please cut down on the amount of Louise Rennison you are currently reading because you're starting to sound more and more like Georgia Nicholson."

Teresa sighed. "Look, will you please just come on the date? To tell you the truth I'm seriously nervous about this and I don't want to have to go by myself."

"No. Not gonna happen."

"PLEASE Aine! I swear, I will never ever ask you to do anything else for me as long as we both live!"

I snorted. "Yeah, like that's gonna happen. You say that every time and every time it comes back to bite me in the butt. Plus, I can't come with you on every date you go on now can I?"

"I know that, I just need you to come on this one! Please please please?"

Oh my headache was too bad to keep going with this. I am ashamed to say that for the second time that week, I caved in to my best friend's demands.

 "Fine fine fine, but I'm wearing what I want to wear and I swear to God, if Eamonn tries anything with me, I'll kick his arse from here to kingdom come and I don't care who sees!" 

That was Teresa's cue to start screeching again. If any of you readers know a place that does prosthetic eardrums, let me know will you? I may need them before my next birthday.

"I know I know I'm wonderful. Now just shut up and leave me alone already! I'm pretty sure I've got sunstroke and Criminal Minds is starting in five minutes."

"Okay! I'll call you later when Connor lets me know about the details."

"Grand so. See you."

"Bye Aine! And thanks!"

Then the line went dead and the full realisation of what I'd just done hit me like a blow to the face.  My temples started throbbing unbearably and the room seemed to lurch from side to side as I felt myself sway with horror (or possibly sun) induced dizziness.

I'd just agreed to go out with Eamonn Daly.

 On an actual legitimate date-type-thing.

I mean, I'm doing it as a favour for a friend but still......Oh My God.

I wonder if Dad still has that industrial-strength pepper spray he bought for when I went to the Gaeltacht last year? He always said boys needed to be handled with violence. I'd laughed at the time.

But now?

I have a funny feeling I'll be needing that stuff after all.

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  Gutentag fellow Wattpadders! I am so very sorry I took so long to update, but I had two horrible weeks of school exams to get through.

Anyway, enough excuses. Today's song is the absolutely amazingly psychotic tune Andrew In Drag by the equally bonkers band, The Magnetic Fields. I tried to find a video with lyrics because the actual video? *shudder* But no such luck. I'll pay for the therepy you may need though so don't worry!

So see you later guys! Remember: Vote/Comment/Fan!