MUSE

// Misconception //

You didn't love her.

She was the greatest misconceived
human concept
for you.
The syllables in her name,
they didn't flow gently through
your tongue
instead they left you tongue tied.
The sound of her voice
was never truly your
favourite sound.
You never did get familiar
with the texture of
her lips you kissed so vigorously
You never really
kissed her like every inch
of your soul meant it
Her scars,
Her imperfections,
Her meekness
Her tiny human slip ups,
Her worst nightmares,
you couldn't look past
any of it.
You wished to remain
oblivious to
her beauty,
wished to leave
all the corridors
and hallways of her wondrous soul
unexplored.
Never did you try to seek
the gateway to her perfection,
instead you went about
seeking perfection in somebody else.
You never really looked at her
like she was your greatest prize.
You never really saw bright
Christmas lights in her eyes.
You never really did think
her hands fit you like your
favourite sweater.
You never really did notice
the smallest of things about her,
like those freckles on her right hand
that made her look a little more human.
She never really was the real reason
behind your laughter and smiles,
but you were for her.
You were never really high
and drunk on her love,
while she was.
You always seemed tired,
tired of her.
But she never was
and she knew she'd never be.

You didn't love her
You only liked the feeling of being in love.
You only liked how she made you experience
every single bit of "love" you were always
missing out on
You only liked how she made love to you
You only liked how she was too good for
your dominance
You only liked how her existence made
your existence worthy
You only liked how her presence filled
all of your emptiness
You only liked her because she made you feel
better about yourself and your misery
You only liked her because you wanted to be loved.

But you didn't love her