South Park-Freaks in Love

Chapter 8

The whole scene was too much for Cartman. He could barely breathe from laughing that hard. Clearly, with the situation shit would go down, but this was too perfect!

Kyle and Wendy were bitching at Stan because he had just kicked Clyde's ass. Kenny was passed out on the floor again-"Wait, I think he's dead...this day just keeps getting better and better!"

Cartman simply sat there, delighted with the entire scenario and replayed the moment when the chaotic happy-times began.

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Bebe's pathetic attempt at trying to get Kyle to kiss her failed and she ran out the tree house. I have no idea why that skank liked that Jew so much. Wendy went after her and then Stan came. Wonderful. Time to pull out a seat and popcorn.

"Where were you?" Wendy asked, completely failing to hide the bitchyness in her voice.

"It doesn't matter where I was, I'm here, aren't I?" Stan told the cunt.

It's about fucking time he grew some balls.

He came over and sat in between me and Kenny.

Kenny,being the stoner he is, started laughing for no fucking reason and passed out. Kyle was checking to see if he was ok.

"Like you actually care if he's dead or not, you selfish Jew. You know he's gonna be back tomorrow." I commented.

"Ugh, your so fucking retarded...even if he does come back, it's still sad. " Jewboy whined.

"Well Kenny's still breathing, so why don't we start the game?" Stan asked with a smile.

But that wasn't a normal smile. I'd recognize it anywhere. That was an Eric Cartman smile. Stan was planning something and I couldn't wait to see it.

Wendy,still shocked from being put in her place, mumbled something.

"You're gonna have to speak up,bitch!" I smirked. That seemed to wake her up. She gave me a death glare (sooo scary!) then sat down next to Clyde and Heidi. "Yea, I guess we should start."

"Great!"Stan grinned "I'll go first! Clyde, truth or dare?"

"Um, truth I guess" Clyde said, slightly confused. I had a feeling of where this game was heading.

"Ok. Did you fuck Wendy?"

"Whoa,dude, slow do-"Clyde began

"Did you or did you not fuck Wendy? It's a simple question. Unless you want to answer another. Like why do you jerk off to posters of Austin Mahone? Or are you jealous of Tweek stealing your beloved Craig? Mabey I should ask why the fuck your dad is seeing Mrs. Scotch every Thursday night?!"

Holy fuck. This was way more than I expected. Stan is supposed to be the "good guy" who loves animals and being a hippie and shit. Not even that evil Jew would take it take this far."Stan! What the heck?!?!"Wendy shouted. I chuckled a bit. To think that she said I would "ruin" this dumbass game.

"What?" Stan smiled innocently " I'm just telling the facts. Are you? Have you told everyone about why your parents divorced? How your dad  caught your mom-"

"Stan,don't." Wendy pleaded

"-with another woman? It feels good to have your business out for the world to see,huh?"

"Dude, I don't know what you're doing, but you better stop" Kyle intervened

"I'm just saying the truth-"

"I think Kyle is right, Stan" Nichole added. I forgot she was there for a while.

"Oh Nichole, wouldn't it be a shame if Heidi found out that you've been seeing her boyfriend?" Stan said slyly. Heidi left in anger and Nichole followed and flipped off Stan.

"STAN. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Kyle yelled.

"Nothing. Everyone has secrets and I'm just helping them out. Because that's what friends do, right? And since you're my best friend, we all should know that-"

"I HAD SEX WITH WENDY!" Clyde bursted out. Why the fuck would Wendy want to sleep with that nasally voiced turd-not that I'm jealous or anything! Anyway, no one said a word. Wendy looked like she was gonna cry. Or beat the shit out of Clyde for spilling the beans.

But Stan beat her to it. He fucking jumped over and was on top of Clyde punching him. He was like the damn Hulk! Kyle tried pulling him off and told Stan to calm down. Wendy looked like she just shit her pants.

I couldn't take it anymore. I burst out laughing, enjoying every punch and shout. Eventually Kyle got Stan off of Clyde.

Clyde cursed him out then left.

I noticed Kenny was awake, but didn't pay him any attention. This was the best day ever.

A/N-Welcome to the psychotic mind of Eric Cartman, folks! Thanks soooooo much reading!