That's Impossible

Chapter 8

Cas had slid off of Dean's lap and was now in stretched out on the center of the bed on his stomach. Cas could tell Dean wished to examine his wings. Dean reached a tentative hand out, but hovered above the feathers. 

"It's okay, Dean." Cas said without even looking back. 

But it wasn't okay. Dean's eyes suddenly stopped roaming over the wings long enough to see that the one further from him was severely damaged. "Cas, what's wrong with this one? Does it hurt?" Cas fumbled, "No, it- Yes, it is uncomfortable and bothersome." Cas could feel his damaged wing at all times. It felt like a knife in his back that he couldn't remove. He turned and looked at the hunter. 

"Is this about pairing?" 

Cas' eyes nearly bulged out of his head, "What? How did you know?" Dean scoffed and further inspected the wing. Cas could feel Dean's breath fluttering his sensitive feathers, "Gabe paid me a visit." 

"What?" Castiel ground out and was suddenly straddling Dean and pinning his hands to the headboard. "You've been associating with other angels?" He practically growled it. 

Dean's heart rate sped up and he stared at the puffy, pink lips in front of him. "I didn't realize it was a problem." Dean said slowly, cautious to not further upset the angel. "Of course, it is a problem. You are far too beautiful; they will want to take you from me, but they can't." He dropped his head to Dean's neck and emphasized each word, "You. Are. Mine." 

"I'm sorry." Dean whispered into the angel's ear, and suddenly Cas pulled back seemingly getting a hold of himself. "No, I'm sorry. It is because of the pairing. Fierce possessiveness and what not." Cas got out of bed, and Dean felt cold without Cas' warmth. "I apologize. I never meant to pair with you. I knew it would make you uncomfortable, but I just could not stop thinking of you. I couldn't stop wanting you." Cas looked down and twiddled his thumbs, while Dean stood also. 

"So, what's wrong with your wings?" Dean asked pointedly ignoring the touchy-feely territory Cas was getting into. "My wings are basically translators for the status of my pairing. When I am too far away from you for too long, or we're not...intimate, my wings suffer. As of now, they're cracked and bleeding, are broken in a few places, and I've also lost a few feathers, but nothing too serious." 

"Not serious?" Dean raised his voice; he sounded hysterical. 

"Yes, Dean. There have been cases of wings completely disintegrating only to painfully reform." Dean's jaw dropped. "It is the second worst pain I have ever experienced." 

"So, what? You've had your wings reform?!?" Cas nodded his head and looked sadly at Dean. "I've been paired to you for a while now. I just recently decided to act on it, however." Dean was flabbergasted and then he realized what Cas had previously said, "Wait, what do you mean second worst pain? What's the first?" 

Cas' face crinkled like he was experiencing said pain, but he quietly stated, "Imagine someone you love with all of your being. He's not perfect, but he's perfect to you. Undeniably beautiful," Cas leans his head to the side as he studies Dean, lost in thought. "Righteous soul. Pure intentions. A hero in all sense of the word." Cas straightens his head, and his face hardens, "Now imagine him rejecting you, denying you, and making you feel dirty and worthless for wanting something that he doesn't." Cas' voice had lost all emotion, but his watery eyes betrayed him.

 "Cas, I didn't-"

"You didn't know, Dean?" Cas spits out mockingly. Dean's face scrunches; he's never seen the angel so emotional before. 

"What? If you did, you would've paired with me? To save my wings? I didn't want your pity. I wanted you to be mine." 

A tear falls from Cas' eye and Dean reaches out, but Cas flinches away. Dean's too quick and still manages to grab him. Dean's hands are wrapped around Cas' arms as he gently shakes him. "Hey. Hey!" The angel looks up at him through dark lashes. 

"How do you know it wasn't the same for me, huh?" Cas' face quickly contorts into confusion. "Yeah, you weren't the only one that wanted somebody they thought they couldn't have. You're an angel! For all I knew, we would be forbidden and disgraced. An abomination." Dean had unknowingly brought the angel closer and closer to him. 

Dean stares at Cas' parted lips and he continues with his voice barely above a whisper, "I want to be yours, and I need you to be mine." With that, the hunter leaned forwards and claimed the angel's lips as his own.