Dreaming of you

Chapter 36

Life doesn't go like how we want it's full of pain and joy it's full of sadness and happiness. You're doing it worng if your happiness depends on a person because no one lasts forever you will end up by yourself remained alone and sometimes you will remain surrounded by alot of people but you will end up feel alone because the person you want to be aside with is not there weather if he had passed away and left you struggle all alone or he left you by his choice or under any type of conditions. But in rare conditions you may not remain alone and at the end there are two types of people; winners and loserss!! The winner is the strongest who can throw the past behind his back or forgive.. wishing death is never the solution.

Caroline's POV:

I woke up in a strange place with wricked walls, two nurses by my side and a weird people around me i don't know what is going on but after a while i found out that i'm locked in the mental hospital after my try to commit suicide the place looks horrified and the pain in my chest is growing up.

"Miss brodaille how do you feel now?" The doctor asks me and i have no clue what is going on

"Where am i?"

"Calm down caroline we saved your life if we were a minute later you would have died, thank god you have been saved"

Two weeks and i'm still locked in this mental hospital because they think that i'm mentally exhausted or some shit and it would be dangerous if i remained by myself out of the hospital why would they give a fuck about my life when i do not?

I spent the ten days left crying myself to sleep and regreting everything i have been through and i have done i miss my dad i know that if he were here he would make things much better because he always did he used to tell me that everything will be okay and helps for it to be better even if it's impossible he was my life saver, the reason for my smile but i have nothing to do with his apsense god wants him to be back home to the place where we all will be after death the permanent home for all of us but i never stopped missing him but i know he's in a better place after struggling alot with illness. i was 16 when his painful illness begin to be much stronger and he was pretending to be okay to comfort me because all i did was crying and sitting next to him praying to him to get better and wished that pain would catch me instead of him i can never imagine some one with his kindess on this earth could ever be existing and he passed away when some poison spreaded all over his blood and they ended up ambutating his leg untill his heart couldn't stand the operation and left the life on the 12th of march that date i will never forget it may be worse than what i'm struggling now so i think this time will pass by because everything does and i'm glad that dad isn't here anymore to see me in this way he woule be dying for me.

The pain in my chest grow by thinking of flash backs to the days when my dad was existing and was by myside i wish one single day of these days would only come back.

My mum often visits me maybe once or twice a month because ofcourse she's quite busy with her new job that she isn't have much time to come and visit her only daughter. Damn it what is worse to be coming up next?
I don't know anything about adam but i was walking through the garden of the hospital and saw him walking to the adminestration building to where the head doctor stays but i didn't know what is he doing here and i didn't bother to even try to talk to him because i still feel the haterd towards him even tho i miss him alot his laughs and jokes, the was he used to make fun of me and the sleepless nights we spent together but i hate him for putting me through all that shit i gave up everything for him and all he did was breaking me into pieces but i finally dicided to get over him and get all my shit together and back to my normal life. My is was so hard because i was dreaming of him every single night and he never leaves my mind.

*TWO WEEKS LATER*

I made a good friendship in here with zedka a woman who's here for a treatmnt since six month' she's 34 with a little girl called amanda and she murdered her husband because she caught him in bed with a girl in the tweenties but she isn't suffering from any mental deseas but she pretends to be so to be able to care about her little daughter outside the jail.

I was walking around with my headphones and listening to my favourate music as a way of escapism and i read sometimes for escapism too as i get into the novels characters and see that someone may have many issues than me but everything has an end ..
i saw my mother sitting with doctor george the doctor who is responsible for the x-rays and test cases he does to me from time to time and i wonder why would my mother would be sitting with him not with the doctor who knows best my case?

I walked inside to hear what are they talking about and ask for the results as this time i didn't get them i think something wrong is going on.

"I don't know what to say mrs" the doctor tells my mum and my heart beats going faster and faster that i felt my heart is going to pumb out of my chest.

"What do you mean?" My mums asks in a worried tone

"Caroline is pregnant" that's all what he said and i felt like my heart has stopped for a minute and kept beating again and the tears streamed down my face and the words were trapped inside my mouth.