Death Of Love

Chapter 12

I woke up to my 10:30 a.m. alarm so I could get my chores done.

I was oblivious to the night before, not wanting to remember the events of my love that I haven't seen in a full year sleeping under the same roof as me. I mean, who would want to think about something like that ?

Not anyone I know. He didn't want to, but I was his last option. I don't know if he has left or not, I don't think his has.

I got my answer to that when I heard a squeal from the door hinge from the guest bedroom door. He walked into the kitchen, where I was putting away dishes.

"Hello. Good morning, do you mind if I stay for a little bit?" He asked, walking to where I was standing.

I debated whether or not I should say yes. He seemed so desperate to stay, maybe this was how I would crush him. Or maybe I should wait.

"Mhm," I hummed, bending over to grab a dish from the dish washer.

I suddenly felt afraid. I didn't want a stranger in my house, which was what he was now. Sure, I knew his name, and almost everything about his past life, but he was just a stranger in history now.

He sat down at the dining table, asking if he could get breakfast. I simply pointed to the cabinet and telling him there was cereal.

I didn't want him here, but I needed to get him back for hurting me. Not now though. Not now.

I could hear his chewing as I put more dishes away and reloaded the dish washer. I've decided to ignore him as much as possible, knowing it wouldn't affect him because he understands how stubborn I am sometimes.

This is going to be hard. I don't want to hurt him. He means everything and more to me. It's like. He was gone, you know. The wind still blew, the stars still shined, the city was still in motion. It was almost as if he never existed. And oh god, I swore on everything I had I didn't love him anymore. But sometimes, I would put my songs on shuffle, and our song would come on, I'd just sit there and cry. I would look through our old messages, missing how you treated me to good. But I swear, I didn't love him anymore. I could still feel him in my bones and in my lungs, because baby, he grew roses in them but the suffocated me. I would think about his eyes and how perfect they were. It was almost as if he wasn't even alive, as if his existence never was real. But the blood on my thighs and the tears draining from my eyes meant differently.

Because all he ever did was make me believe he loved me. I remember once, we were under the bridge. I put my headphone in his ear and the other in mine, and suddenly our song came on. He grabbed my waist and pulled me in, putting his head to mine. We just stood there, looking down, falling in love. Headphones in, heads down, falling in love. That's all he ever did to me. Make me feel like he was something he wasn't.

And a year ago, I would have never though I would see him again. But here he is, in my kitchen, eating breakfast after spending the night.

It hurts, you know ? He means the world to me. He was many chapters in my book and I was just a sentence in his.

I don't let anyone know about my life story, either. Because all they would hear about is this beautiful boy who stole my heart and ran away. He got what he wanted, and left.

Sometimes I wonder, is this love, or is it sacrifice ? If it's love, how am I going to let it make me feel ? And if it's sacrifice, what am I willing to give up ? This isn't a game, this is love. And what one will I choose ?

Hey guys ! I decided to update today because I have nothing else to do, so here you go.

I'm pretty happy with this chapter, I like it a lot. But idk about you guys, I hope you enjoyed! Point out errors please !

I'm really tired so night lmao

(((Sleeping vibes)))

xoxoxosky