My depressed boyfriend

FIVE

*possible trigger warning* and a song I thought I'd recommend, '2 faces' by BMIKE

Troye's p.o.v

I haven't told Tyler yet, but I've been reading a lot of the hate I get on twitter lately, it's is starting to get to me. I can't stop reading it though, because you know I like reading the truth and when I start, I can't stop.
No one knows, thank fück. I don't really what anyone's pity, I don't need it.

Later that day I unlock my phone and open up twitter. I go to an account specifically made for hating on me, and I read through the posts that consist of:

@KillUrselfTroye: Eeeewww guys did you see @TroyeSivan 's last video?
@BlairAwesome: Yeah I know! He look like complete shït! Haha!! That ugly twät!
@BritanyCage: Omg he actually makes me wanna kill myself!
(A/N idk if those are real twitter accounts or not, I just made them up)

I had decide to reply to the last one saying
@TroyeSivan: why do guys hate me so much? Wait I don't care I already know. I'm not worth anything and you know what? I make me wanna kill myself too so, don't worry. You probably won't have to put up with my worthless ass for much longer anyways

I put my phone back down on the dresser and jumped into the shower...with my sharpest blade. I didn't even have a proper shower I just sat on the floor letting the water run down my body.
The only thing on my mind was the words "kill yourself" or "wow, look at you! Still the same old ugly Troye. Still look like a baboon as always"  by the time I got out of the shower I had over 30 cuts all over both wrists and thighs. I hid my blade and got dressed, I had been in the shower for at least 2 hours.
I got back on my phone and decided to text Tyler.

Me: babe! I'm lonely I want cuddles :(

Tyler😍❤️️: sure boo! I'll see you in 5! Luv u!❤️️

Me: okay! I'll see you then luv u 2!😘

About 10 minutes later there was a knock at the door. I immediately knew it was Tyler so I ran to the door and opened it pulling him into a hug and catching him off guard.
'Woah babe! What's got you so excited?' He says putting his arms around me
'Nothing. I just missed you that's all' I smile kissing him on the lips.
'Okay then, I missed you too hun, now can I put my stuff on the table or are we just going to stay here all day?' He says in a joking way
'Oh right' I laugh letting him go
He starts walking to the table and I shut the door and turn around. He was still facing the table and my eyes widened when I noticed stripes of blood on his white t-shirt from my cuts.
'Um.....I-I'll be r-right back!' I yell as I'm running up the stares into the bathroom. Little did I know that Tyler was following me.

Tyler's P.O.V

Okay well that was really weird when Troye just ran up the stairs, fear clear in his voice. So I decided to follow him. I heard water running in the bathroom, so I walked in and my eyes widened and tears immediately streaming down my face at what I saw.
'TROYE WHAT ON EARTH HAVE YOU DONE BABY?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF?!' I screamed tears falling freely as I pulled him to sit on the floor with me
'I-I don't know!' he sobbed into his knees 'I hate myself! I deserve it! I don't deserve you! You're too kind and..and I'm nothing!!' He cries into my chest
'Aww baby! That's not true! And we both know it! Your an amazing guy Troye! I don't want anyone but you! I fücking love you Troye Sivan Mellet!'
'I love you too, but you don't need to love me no one loves me. I mean, look at me, I'm fat ugly and I look like a fücking monkey' he whispers
'Troye don't you dare say that ever again! You are not fat! You are beautiful! And monkeys are adorable!
'No, I am ugly' he says as he lays his head down on my lap.
'Get this through your fücking head Troye! I fücking love you! You are the most beautiful guy i have ever met! And I don't even know what I'd do without you, T, I love you more than I have ever loved anyone, and I'm not just saying this to try and cheer you up. I genuinely love who you are! Whether you have scars or not, whether you are skinny or not, I love you and I will never stop! Those scars, every single scar you have represent how many times you needed me, and I wasn't there. I love so much Troye and you need to get it through that head of yours!' I literally bawling my eyes out by the time I'd finished rambling on. Words didn't even express how I was feeling right now. Troyes face was filled with love and shock as well.
'I- I-' he started but I cut him of by smashing my lips on to his. I pulled away before I ruin the moment
'I love you Tyler, I love you so much' he cries as he leans over and hides his face in my chest and sobs. I just put my arms around him and rock us back and fourth.
Eventually we get up, clean his cuts and go to bed. He falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow. I wrap my arms around his waist and eventually fall asleep myself.

About two hours later, I woke up. Troye was missing, yet his phone was here still. And he'd left a note, but before I read the note I put the password to his phone in and what was on the screen showed me. It was a twitter page, called @killUrselfTroye. 'What the fück?' I said to myself. I picked up the note and started to read it....

Hey ty,
I've gone for a walk to the bridge, I don't know when I'll be back...or even if I'll be back. Actually never mind, I won't be back. I'm done ty! I can't take this anymore! It's all getting to be too much....just know that I love you so Fücking much and don't you ever forget it. My time of death will be 10:37 am.

Love from,
Troye </3

I got up and ran to get dressed as fast as I could. I looked at the time 10:25. Shit I haven't got much time! I ran, got my keys, and jumped into the car and drove to the bridge. Once I got there I jumped out of the car, not even bothering to turn it off, and ran to the bridge. By the time I got there it was 10:36 am. I ran as fast as I could and when I saw Troye,sitting on the bridge, I managed to pick up my speed. He stood up on the ledge and that's when it hit me. It's 10:37. But I was too late... he jumped.
'TRRROOOOYYYYYEEEEE!' I screamed as I got to the edge. I ran down to the bottom running into the water. I could see him, he was stuck by the looks of things. I swam up to him and pulled him up out of the water, but I couldn't. I was right, he is stuck. His arm is stuck under a rock. I grabbed his arm trailing my hand down his arm to find the rock. I eventually found it and lifted it up off of his arm. I grabbed him around his waist and swam to the surface. I dragged him to the edge and sat down with his head on my lap.
'Troye? Wake up! Please Troye! I need you to wake up' I sobbed. He didn't respond. He must've hit his head on something. I checked to make sure he still had a pulse. He did. I leant down to listen to his breathing. He was thankfully still alive. I picked him up bridal style and put him in the back seat of the car and drove him To the hospital......

A/N- Hehe cliffhanger!! Sorry guys I'll get the next chapter up as soon as possible!