Second Chances

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

"Is everything ok? Why are you in bed?" Nathan's voice pulled me from the empty stare I had at the wall. I turned to look at him as he entered the bedroom looking more concerned then ever. I gave him a small smile and nodded.

"I just don't feel to good that's all." I told him. It wasn't a lie. My stomach did feel slightly weird and I had a banging headache. I also really don't feel good about the fact that a few hours ago in the front room I was kissing another man. I really don't feel good about that. 

"Aw." He crawled into bed behind me and hugged me close. "Is there anything I can do?" He asked sweetly. I shook my head an pushed back the urge to cry. I'd cried so hard earlier that I already had a killer headache I didn't need to make it worse.

"No, I'll be ok. I think I'll just go to sleep." I told him.

"Ok. I'll be in the other room." He kissed my cheek before he got up again. "I'm just going to have a shower then cook some dinner, do you want some?" He asked me as he began to strip down behind me, I could hear the zip on his jacket.

"No, thank you." I mumbled. I don't think there's enough room in my stomach next to all the guilt in there to keep any food down.

"OK angel." I heard him leave the room. I pulled my kneeds up to my chest and the duvet around my shoulders and when I heard the shower start so did my cries. At least he wouldn't be able to hear them. I'm a terrible person.

Later on in the night I felt Nathan climb into bed and pull me against him gently. He linked our fingers together and kissed my shoulder. I drifted back into the empty sleep that had over taken me not long before. 

 I woke up before Nathan. I turned over and watched him as he slept, he looked so peaceful. His lips slightly parted. I wanted to kiss them softly. Then I remember who my last kiss was with. Ethan. The guilt bubbled up once again. Why did I do it? 

"Mmmm, Maddi?" His voice was raspy, his hand came up and lightly touched my cheek as he opened his eyes slightly.  "You're so perfect." He mumbled still half asleep. What am I doing thinking about Ethan whilst I'm in bed with Nathan my boyfriend who clearly adores me. I made a bad decision kissing Ethan. It was a mistake. And it won't happen again... he's probably already forgotten me and moved onto one of his many fans, he could have anyone he wanted if he's in the worlds biggest boyband, he won't come back a second time. Well, I can only hope he won't. I just need to forget about him. Yesterday was a mistake that won't happen again. So, I pressed my lips against Nathan's softly. Taking in how right it was and ignoring the niggling voice in the back of my mind telling me kissing Ethan was better and this wasn't as perfect. I ignored that and let myself get carried away with Nathan. In his arms. Where I should be. Because he's my boyfriend.

~Fast Forward to the weekend, the 2nd of November~

"I think we should go on a date today! You've been sick all week so you should get some fresh air!" Nathan came bounding into the room full of excitement in only a towel wrapped around his hips, very low hung, showing off his perfect 'V line' and his six pack which he earnt from working on a building site, his hair was spiked up in different directions still wet. 

"Are you forgetting not half an hour ago I was throwing up still?" I laughed lightly as I finished drying my hair from my shower I had before him. 

"Maybe fresh air will help!" He suggested as he knelt down on the floor beside me and wrapped his big arms around me and kissed my cheek. We made eye contact in the mirror. 

"What do you suggest?" I gave in to his puppy dog eyes on his cute face. He also has a point, maybe fresh air will help. I'd been throwing up all week and hadn't been able to leave the flat. Mid-afternoon yesterday the throwing up began slowing down, thankfully, but I was woken up this morning with barely enough time to make it to the bathroom. Nathan had been the perfect boyfriend. He has gone to work, very reluctantly, then come home and looked after me by tucking me up on the sofa with a movie and getting me whatever I needed. He even did the food shop on Wednesday. He even cleaned up after me the one time I didn't make it to the toilet in time.