ℓєттєяѕ тσ уσυ. ✉

letters to you. [1]

"Kendall-Kendall stop! Please!" I shout repeatedly, hoping he'd actually listen to me. Knowing him, it was a long shot. But the only thing I could try.

People would constantly say I was dumb for staying with Kendall for all these years, but they didn't know. They didn't know the good times we had together, only the bad. It's not like you wake up one morning and decide you don't want to be in a relationship with someone. I can't just leave him to be alone. He was used to being by himself and that's how he got this way.

"Well maybe if you stopped running I wouldn't have to do this!" he screamed back at me, throwing a China plate against the wall near my small head. I could see in his face he was tired, that he had given up on everything.

He soon caught up to me, grabbing my wrist and yanking myself towards his skinny body. He was tall and lanky, but when he was angry he somehow developed these non-existent muscles. His green eyes stared deep into my own, and I thought at that point his fury had vanished. He looked completely calm.

"Just remember, you deserve everything I do tovyou," he grits out, rising his hand. How I was wrong.

-

I knew where I was. I've memorized this place for a while now. Kendall must've called an ambulance, knowing he'd gone too far this time. Sure, this has happened before, but my mother was not involved in it. She was now sitting across the room from me, waiting for me to wake up. She was anxious, scratching at her palm, leaving red marks all over her boney fingers.

"What am I doing here?" I asked caustiously to no one in particular, soon regretting it when my face ached a sign of pain. Kendall would never give himself up, he probably had told the EMT staff I had fallen, or simply just passed out. My mom stopped scratching, looking at me with her blue eyes that were now red and puffy like she had been crying.

She places her hand on mine as a sign of comfort. Ever since I was little, she'd always to that to make me feel secure. It worked, or course, but it still didn't explain why I was here.

"Kendall," my mom replied. "He beat my baby girl senseless." She had nothing but anger in her blue eyes now, and I could tell he definitely had did it this time. She was next to me, patting my head. "You have to leave him, Shae. We all know it's best for you."

"Mom, you don't understand-" I yell getting defensive, but then soon quiet down when the pain appears."I love him!"

"How can you love a monster like him? He physically abuses you like you're some sort of punching bag! I thought your dad and I raised you better than this, Shae. An abusive relationship isn't a relationship at all."

I kinda wished Kendall had beaten me to death. Dying and leaving him are practically the same thing.  Nobody understands our relationship except for me and him. He's going to change eventually, I know it. He just needed someone to show the way. Abuse is normal, right? I mean, it happens in everyones relationship at sometime. There was absolute no way I was going to leave my boyfriend behind to rot. No way.

"Knock, knock," a middle aged women says, heading into my room. "I've made the rehab appointment and everything is ready to go. All ta have to do is get dressed and we're ready for ya."

"Rehab? I don't need rehab! I'm not a chid anymore, you can't send me off wherever you want me to just to get rid of me. You can't."

"Shaelyn Vanessa," she scolds me, holding my shoulders firmly. "This is not open for discussion. You need help and I'm getting you it. You leave tomorrow. We're doing this because we love you. I promise you, you won't regret this."

I sigh loudly, throwing my head back into the soft hospital pillow. There was no point in fighting with my mom, she was a lawyer. But there was one thing I needed to do before I leave, and that was to talk to Kendall. Nobody could stop me because I would keep it a secret. Secrets mean you could actually trust somebody, and I trusted Kendall with everything I had.