ℓєттєяѕ тσ уσυ. ✉

letters to you. [3]

"What?" I reply in a daze, still thinking I was asleep. I had only said one word to him, though my head was already pounding.

"I want you to come back home," he spits back, snapping me back into reality. I push the heavy blanket off me as I head into the hallway, phone grasped into my hand. I knew Noelle heard Kendall, and I knew there was going to be follow up questions to go along with that. There were always questions. I was never ready for them, but I also knew that I had to answer them.

"Kendall, you know I can't leave. I'm not even suppose to be talking to you right now. I promised-"

"I want you here. I'm lonely and I want you to hold me. Get home now."

I hear quiet, faint footsteps from across the hall. I sigh, banging my head against the wall. "Kendall-"

"Now!" he demands, the sound if broken glass echoing through the phone and into my ear. It was a sound I gotten used to, though every time I heard it, it still pierced my ear drum the same way it did every time.

"Oh-okay. Okay, I'm coming. I'm coming, I promise. I just gotta pack-"

"I'm already here. Get your fat ass out here before I have to come inside and get you myself. You wouldn't want me to do that, would you now?"

With that, the line went dead. It was only me, and it seemed that way nowadays. I slowly creeped into my room, the floor letting out squeals and creaks as I'd walk. Maybe he was right, maybe I was gaining weight.

I carefully put my belongings into my suitcase, careful not to make a noise. It was only five minutes until I was packed and ready to go.

I knew I wasn't going to actually make it. I actually had gotten farther than I thought I would, though. I was almost at the entrance, when a dark, heavy set lady called for two guys in yellow vests to come get me. I was unpacked and sleeping by the next hour.

I woke up, immediately wanting to go back to bed. It was a feeling I had everyday, some days better than others. I glance over to see Noelle was no longer in her usual indian position, but gone. I didn't want to look at the time, but I had forced myself to. 8:02. I remember the lady at the desk had said we meet in the lobby, eight am every morning was roll call and, i, was of course late.

Getting up, I spot my pink suitcase on the floor as all the memories of last night come flooding into my brain, making my head ache. I desperately wanted to talk to someone, anyone, about what happened last night, though no one seemed to care. I longed for attention and got attached to anyone who gave me the least bit. I had no one to talk to, all my friends had left when I showed up with a black eye at prom. I choose Kendall over them, but sometimes I do regret that choice. How do you give someone something when they have already gave you the world?

I sprung out of bed, the fear of being late powering over me. I open the bathroom door to brush my teeth, and that's when I saw it.

Noelle, a blade grasped in one hand and a blood stained tissue in the other, along with a blank expression plastered onto her beautiful face. I didn't know what to say at this point, or how to react. She was beautiful, how could she harm herself?

"Don't tell anyone about this," she manages to get out. I could tell she was struggling to find her words. Her voice was scratchy, her throat dry. I shake my head, afraid of my surroundings.

"I-I wouldn't do that if I were you-" I heard myself say.

"What the fuck do you know? You're in a fucking abusive relationship so you have no fucking right to talk."

"How do you know that," I whispered, but I didn't want to know. "He loves me."

"Yeah the bruise around your ribcage sure screams love to me."

I hate her. I hate her so much. I was now in the public bathroom, crying as I looked at pictures of me and Kendall on our anniversary a month ago. So many things went down hill so quickly. I know he loves me, he just wasn't that type of person that shows it. And that's okay. He was mine, and he will remain mine no matter what.

.