Violet Dreams

Nightmares

The sound of silence builds in my eardrums

It's almost worse than the screaming

...

My nightmares

They aren't the silly child dreams

With Darth Vader hiding behind curtains

And the Gremlins laughing under your bed

They are terrors

....

You are disoriented

You don't know where you are

You don't understand anything

But you are scared

You don't why

You just feel this sudden terror building in your chest

It grows until it becomes to much and you start to cry

You don't understand

And it's terrifying

.....

Then come the screams

I don't know where they're coming from

They seem unreasonable

Unattainable

They don't belong Yet they do

I want them to stop

I WANT THEM TO STOP

I PINCH MYSELF THREE TIMES

WAKE UP

WAKE UP

I WANT TO WAKE UP

I WANT TO WAKE UP BUT I CAN'T

...

Laughter

Laughter

I hear laughter

I feel delighted

I feel euphoric

I feel high

I feel like I'm on top of the clouds

I feel free

Free from gravity

Free from stress

Free from sin

Then I fall

...

Suddenly jerked back into reality

I'm still asleep on my bed

My midnight lullaby dances in my head

I'm confused

Usually you can't see yourself sleeping

You can't walk around dreaming yet i am

...

I can't focus

I see everything

I see too much

People keep droning on and I'm trying to find something

I need to find it

I NEED TO

But what is it

...

I have a problem

These dreams are affecting my lifestyle

I'm pounded with them at night

Then suddenly jerked into real life

The barrier between them begins to diminish

I'm tired

I want to go to sleep, but I don't want to dream

Or am I dreaming right now?

...

I fall again

What I hate most is the limbo between dreams and real life

The falling sensation that I get when I wake up is terrifying

I panic under the swarm of sheets and pillows and almost suffocate myself

I still think I'm dreaming

...

This is hell

And I want out

Help