Violet Dreams

letters

I guess this is

just another letter that

I will never send to

you.

I am going to pour

out my heart,

out my feelings,

out my emotions,

and all of my little

secrets.

I am going to 

write down all of the

things I'm too much of a 

damn coward

to say 

aloud.

Then I'm gonna

read it over.

i'll read it over again

and  again

and again

and again.

I'll critique it 

and make so that it is

absolutely

perfect.

Because that's 

What you deserve.

And when I'm content with my creatioin,

I'll read it over,

again,

just to make sure.

And I will find some insane flaw,

so miniscule,

it may not even exist.

Then I'll crumble it up into a ball 

and throw it into the trash

because you don't deserve a mistake.

But 

I will pick it up,

unravel it,

and read it again

just out of nostalgia.

And for the final time,

I'll throw it into the 

trash bin by my bed,

where all the other 

failed confessions rest

like how the dead

lie in their grave.

I'd like to apologize

for the tear drops

that smeared the pencil lead.

I know they dont matter

to you.

You probably don't even 

care.

But

I'm so damn frustrated.

Because no matter how many letters I write ,

how many words i use,

how many tears have fallen on this damn piece of

wretched

paper.

I will never be able to describe

how much

I 

love you.