I'm So Tired of Being Me - poems

Monday Morning

10-25-16

Its another Monday morning
And as per usual, my life is pretty boring
Its like a 9-5 job and a white picket fence
It just doesn't make sense
Its been like this for sometime now
And I can't get out somehow
Its like I've gotten older
Along with me the world has gotten colder
I could tell you how I'm feeling but I don't think you'd care
I could tell you I'm hopeless and gotten absolutely nowhere
The sun only shines when you're around
But its often dark because you're nowhere to be found
Heartache drags
In this new season mental haze
I seem to be in a predicament again
The leaves are falling like they did back then
About a year ago I recall
When the leaves fall
So does my mood
I don't want to be rude
But I really need you to pack up and go
Unless you decide you love me so
This Monday morning leaves me thinking of you
But there's nothing I can do
See I'm simply a young woman who is too dependent on someone she has come to care about
Feels like she can't live without
And he doesn't really care
When its convenient for him he's always there
Lets her speak only when he wants to hear it
Somehow attachment grew and I can't quit
When the leaves change and she's getting sad
He often decides to flip a switch and make her real mad
When her mood goes down
He's not around
So as I start this day
I think of you and how you're in my way
This useless routine
Has no mean
I don't even think we do anymore
I don't know what the point of doing this is for
I get into my car and slam the door
Turn up the radio and ignore
Think of you and don't let a single tear pass my eye
Maybe its time for goodbye
And maybe I'm a shooting star
Eventually these plain days will take me far
As I figure out who I'm going to be
And maybe someday it won't be only me
Against the world and in my own mind
Maybe in someone, love I'll find
But I can't find it in you
Not like I used to