She Left Because... (Frank Iero)

Chapter 12- Help

Frank has just gotten back from the movies with Ryan and his friends and is home alone waiting for the moment when he has the motivation to do his homework. Frank doesn't care about his homework. He really doesn't care about anything anymore.

That is- until he thinks about his friends and Mom.

Then, he feels so selfish and guilty towards himself and it makes him even more sad than before. Maybe he just needs to sleep. Sleeping is the best medicine, as Ray says. So, Frank heaves himself up and resists the urge to fall back on the plush sofa, dragging himself to his room. He closes the door and falls face first on his bed while kicking his shoes off and then taking each sock off with his feet. He breathes slowly and deeply, not thinking about anything. Of course, this leads his mind to wander to Risina, and he takes out her diary to continue reading.

March 3, 2013

The worst thing has happened to me a few days ago and I'm debating on whether or not to write it down in here. There is the possibility that someone will read this sooner rather than 20 years later. Who knows what will happen during that time and honestly...who cares.

I'll write it.

Again, my parents had left town with Ryan on some road trip to the aquarium. I didn't want to accompany them, and they didn't care, so I stayed home. Unfortunately, Alan came over. He told me we were going to a party. He knew my parents weren't home because the cars weren't in the driveway. So, he barged inside, slammed the door and told me to hurry up and get dressed. "Wear something sexy, too. Not ugly."

I listened...of course. I didn't want to go and I had no idea what he had in mind. I didn't want to get punched in my face either, so I obeyed. I wore that black dress mom gave me last year. I hadn't worn it in a while and when I put it on it was obvious I'd gotten taller because it was shorter. The party was at some friend's house of his...Jonathan I think. I can't remember. I only remember the bad part...

There was alcohol.

I didn't drink any but Alan did. A majority of the people there did. Alan dragged me along everywhere as he conversed with his friends, the smell of his breath tainted, the words coming out of his mouth slurred along with maniacal sounding giggles. I was so uncomfortable. I'd never been to a party like this. My only 'parties' were pizza, chips, soda, chocolate and a bunch of funny or horror movies with Frank, Ray, Mikey-and if he had come down to visit- Gerard.

Anyways, Alan had just finished his fourth or third spiked juice when he whispered in my ear to go in the room with him. I wasn't stupid, so I tried my luck and said I didn't want too. What was wrong with making out in a corner or something? Lots of other people were doing it.

He grabbed my wrist and slowly began twisting it, his eyes glazed as he looked into mine. "Now."

I would have stalled more had I know more of the people there. I didn't know them and they were all grinding their junks on other people's junks anyway. I could feel my heart race as I walked down the hall, the music fading to a muffle, and I cursed the parents of this kid for being so rich. I was nervous. I was scared. I didn't want to have sex with Alan at all. At all. Knowing how he was now....

he would probably rape me.

He did.

I won't go into detail.

I won't say how he locked the door.

I won't say he ignored my cries and how my screams for help were futile.

I won't say how I lost my virginity to someone I didn't love.

I won't say how I ended up with swollen lips, a black eye and bruises along my body