failure
honestly one of my few biggest fears. i literally lay in my bed every night thinking
"im going to crash."
and unfortunately i end up doing so. i build myself up to the point where nothing is wrong, i havent cried, thinked about hurting myself, got in arguments. but it seems as if i set myself up.
like with working out. i havent worked out in about two or three weeks and i have gain at least 10 to 20 pounds. and i hate my image when the funny thing is i used to love it. i crashed.
i have self hatred in myself again and i dont know what to do. my parents are low on money and im not old enough to get a job yet so i cant see my therapist anymore because of high fees.
i have no one to talk to since i have been isolated form being grounded. no texting, no social connection, no phone calls, and no friends that i can go to.
my mind has a new setting and that is to fail. no matter what i do im always going to crash. hard. and one day im not going to be able to take it anymore.
-destiny
