Brian Quinn - Love is Murder

Chapter 2

Emma:
You should have seen his face when i told him you'd finished for the night! He looked like someone had just smacked him across his fucking face!
Me:
Oh yeah like he was really bothered about the fact his shitty waitress had left for the night ffs he was probably just trying to get an answer off me so he could get free drinks😂
Emma:
You promised him free drinks?! That means he's going to try and come back and see you did you think of that before you said it?
Me:
Nope i'm a fucking idiot if he comes back in tell him he won't see me for a while if he asks then hopefully from what i've read about he'll try to get stuck into you instead after all you are the better one
Emma:
Get out of here obviously you were the only one he had his eyes on the whole time he was in here!
Me:
Hm yeah okay he probably has a different girl every night not something i will ever be interested in. Anyway i'll speak to you later i'm going on a ride out for a couple of hours:)

One thing i love about being at home is my scooter. 1986 Vespa PK50 fitted with a 150cc engine still with the original paintwork it is my baby. The freedom of being on two wheels is something that most car drivers will never experience and it is amazing. It may be an old scooter, but to be fair its more reliable than most. After being sat for 3 months it started up third kickstart and i was off.
An hour later and i had reached where i wanted to be it wouldn't usually take this long, but i really needed to clear my head. My home is in a shitty little seaside town yet i had chose to drive to a slightly bigger one called Whitby just for some fish and chips and a little walk around before turning around and repeating the drive again. After a little walk around i sat myself down on a small bench in the middle of the pier. All around me seemed to just be filled with couples enjoying eachothers presence and well just being in love. Everytime i saw one in my heart i wanted to be able to love someone like that, but my head was telling me the quote i had been told a few years ago which had always stuck in the back of my head "love is murder" i whispered to myself taking another drag of my cigarette "love is murder".
After the drive back and locking everything away all i wanted to do was get into bed. I may have been living a way for a long time now, but my room had never changed which gave me some weird type of comfort i could lay there for hours and not feel a tiny bit bad about it. A feeling i could never get in the city. After laying for two hours it seemed Q kept popping into my head. What if he did want to get to know me more and i was a twat to him? Could i ever trust him? What would he possibly like about me? I tried to push the thoughts away and turned on the large TV in the corner of my room which took up a huge chunk of my small room, but what did i see? Impractical Jokers. There he was again he didn't look as good on TV as what he does in personal which is something i would have never thought was correct. Looking at him made me feel guilty for how i had treat him that night. I shut the TV off and decided to go for a walk something that i would only do to clear my head when i knew things were going to get bad.
I didn't get in until around midnight from my walk and then must have passed out straight away when i got in. I woke up to the normal sound of the alarms at the steel works going off to let us know they were releasing some chemicals then the whistling of wind almost deafened me. I've got to remember to close my window before i go to sleep i thought to myself. After spending half an hour debating if i should i actually get up or not i checked my phone to see Emma had messaged me again
Emma:
As soon as you actually wake up i know you don't have a twitter account so search @bqquin twitter on google you need to see this.
What could i possibly need to see about him? I couldn't care less what he was doing. After reluctantly searching what Emma told me to i found what she was talking about
@bqquin :
Someone help me out its driving me mad. Little seaside towns near Newcastle UK?
Wow he must really be wanting free drinks because that is the only possible reason for him to be doing this.
Me:
Emma this is ridiculous and if he ever comes in the bar and does have the correct name pls tell him he's wrong Joey would kill me if he knew i had promised free drinks
Emma:
I'm not lying for you one more time after this you know that right! Only a week now until you have to come back and deal with your city life again
Me:
Don't remind me. I'll text you when my flight is taking off so you know when to be at the airport for:)

I had one week left at home before i had to go back to the chaos of the city. I love the peace of being here i feel i resented where i have been raised until i went to New York now all i do when i'm away is miss the quiet of the town i call home. I have one more week to try and see my family at least twice before i go back so it looks like i've made an effort afterall its June now and i presume i won't see anyone until October.
I spent the week going on ride outs to different places around my area with the local scooter club that i also miss an insane amount when i'm not in England. I really need to try and find a scooter in the NY area to take on long trips out of the city. I managed to see both sides of my family once which was just about as much as i could deal with.
One thing i will never get used to is flying alone no matter how safe i know flying is the anxiety kills me one slight move of the plane and i'm convinced ifs going down you would think it would have changed as i got older, but nope. As soon as i walked into arrivals i saw Emma stood talking to a guy who was just her type tall, perfectly groomed hair and freshly shaved the complete opposite of what i like about a man. As i made my way over i saw her say her goodbyes to the man.
"You can't go anywhere without finding a man can you?" I asked sarcastically
"Shut up at least i actually talk to men. You'll never find anyone if you carry on how you are now." The realisation of what my best friend had just said to me hit me quite hard even though she didn't mean for it to. What if I am on my own forever? "Okay can you just drop me straight at my apartment i need sleep before work tomorrow" she nodded and we headed straight to the car.