bottom hoseok || bts+hoseok

I H8 U, I <3 U || knj+jhs

Feeling used
But I'm
Still missing you 

You came over tonight, your eyes filled with lust, your big hands on my not so big body, the way your lips grazed over mine was hypnotizing. You told me you'd stay, but when my tired eyes opened you were gone. 

And I can't
See the end of this
Just wanna feel your kiss
Against my lips  

My eyes tear up as your harsh words run from your mouth, signaling that you were done. The way your lips curled as you shouted at me, blocking you out, my lips meet yours as you relax into the kiss.

And now all this time
Is passing by
But I still can't seem to tell you why
It hurts me every time I see you
Realize how much I need you  

You left for real that time after you relaxed into the kiss, do you remember? All this time while you still made headlines, I was slowly dying inside, needing you. 

I hate you I love you
I hate that I love you
Don't want to, but I can't put
Nobody else above you

I hate you, you ruined me and making me fall for you with every damn picture, I love you with my whole existence, they way you'd hold me and kiss me. What happened to that? I hate you for leaving me a wreck, I want to move on, but I can't you're still my everything.

I hate you I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her

I remember when you texted me at 3 am, your drunk texts sending me thru hell and back.
"I'm getting married, I wish it was to you, I love you." Only for the next day to have your number changed.

I miss you when I can't sleep
Or right after coffee
Or right when I can't eat
I miss you in my front seat
Still got sand in my sweaters
From nights we don't remember
Do you miss me like I miss you?

It was late at night, my phone started to ring, my finger slips on the "answer button" your slurred voice riddled with tears.

"D-Do you remember H-Hoseok? When w-we'd go to the beach and sc-crew around till 2 am? O-Or d-drink coffee at odd hours?" 

Tears streamed down my face as I gripped my phone, as my shaky voice questioned if you missed me like I miss you, to hear her screaming you to come to bed.

Fucked around and got attached to you
Friends can break your heart too, and
I'm always tired but never of you
If I pulled a you on you, you wouldn't like that shit
I put this real out, but you wouldn't bite that shit
I type a text but then I nevermind that shit 

I let myself get attached to you, you comforted me, your soft words and strong arms surrounding my life. I remember when you told me, "We're better as friends." 

Well, you as a friend broke my heart. I come home with tired eyes, dancing for hours on end, pushing myself till almost collapsing, but when I got a call from you.

 My tired eyes would forget about the drowsiness taking over me. Your deep voice soothing me, forgetting that I just worked for 10 hours and more.

I got these feelings but you never mind that shit
Oh oh, keep it on the low
You're still in love with me but your friends don't know
If you wanted me you would just say so
And if I were you, I would never let me go

Your best friend, Seokjin called me to meet up for coffee, my legs carried me to our local coffee shop, his eyes lit up as he sat me down. "Hoseok, he's not over you, he's so deeply in love with you."

"If he wanted me, why'd he leave?" I shakily asked him, holding back the salty tears while staring at the cream wall. "I don't know, he should have never let you go."

I don't mean no harm
I just miss you on my arm
Wedding bells were just alarms
Caution tape around my heart
You ever wonder what we could have been?
You said you wouldn't and you fucking did
Lie to me, lie with me, get your fucking fix

You called again, your voice was sober but it wasn't steady. "Hoseok, I didn't mean to hurt you, I miss you in my arms," 

My finger swiped the red phone button, my hearts cast falling off. The next day on the news with her, you told about how much you loved her, you lied to me again and again.

Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all fucking mixed
Always missing people that I shouldn't be missing
Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance
I know that I control my thoughts and I should stop reminiscing
But I learned from my dad that it's good to have feelings

My weak legs carry me to the local down the street, your words still lingering in my head, my eyes focused on the ground, I felt drunk, drunk off pain and confusion, I slip into the pub, sitting down on the red-velveted stool, my hips swaying causing it to turn, a hand on my shoulder pulling me to face the person.

 you were standing there your cheeks stained with tears, your arms wrapping around my middle as you held me close, sobbing out apologies and "I love yous" my thoughts running wild as I let you hold and kiss me.

When love and trust are gone
I guess this is moving on
Everyone I do right does me wrong
So every lonely night, I sing this song 

I don't know if the love or trust is here, it's complicated, you came over to "my" house today, your lips automatically connecting with mine as I opened the door, still half asleep. 

I thought I was ready to move on, but I was wrong I was still deeply in love with you. 

I hate you I love you
I hate that I love you
Don't want to, but I can't put
Nobody else above you
I hate you I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her  

You've been coming around a lot more, acting like we're still together your soft deep voice whispering that you love me, your hands holding mine like if you'd let go they'd crumble.

All alone I watch you watch her
Like she's the only girl you've ever seen
You don't care you never did
You don't give a damn about me
Yeah all alone I watch you watch her
She's the only thing you've ever seen
How is it you'll never notice
That you are slowly killing me 

You're still here, your arm around me, my head on your shoulder, the interview with you and her plays, the recording of you looks at her like she's the only person in the world. 

"I don't love her, I don't want her, I don't need her. But I do love you, I do want you, I do need you." My head turns to face you, small tears running down my face as you kiss my cheeks then my lips. 

I hate you I love you
I hate that I love you
Don't want to, but I can't put
Nobody else above you
I hate you I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her 

You ended things with her, you told your company "Fuck you.", you got back together with me, now here we are, ten years from then. Married, in love, and parents. 

"Good night Kim Hoseok, I love you so much." He mumbled while closing his eyes, "Good night Kim Namjoon, I love you so much more." I whispered as I nuzzled myself closer to you as I laid on your warm body.