When Rayne Falls (Work in Progress)

When Rayne Falls- Chapter Seventeen

Rayne's POV

My head was spinning and I felt like I was going to be physically sick. I watched Jace turn away from me, abandoning me in the middle of the sidewalk.

I couldn't tell which hurt worse; him actually giving up on trying to keep me with him, or the fact that Demetri was with Cody.

I loved Jace. I said it for the first time out of anger, but that didn't mean it wasn't true. To me, Jace was that warm cup of tea when you're curled up by the window on a rainy day. I didn't feel dependant on him to be happy, but he really made everything that much better. And my heart was breaking over the last words he said, about me not choosing him. I didn't choose Cody. I don't really know what I did, honestly. I think I ruined Jace and I tonight.

I couldn't put my thoughts into words, and I know what it seemed like to Jace, but I wasn't going home to be with Cody; I mean I was, but just to get closure. To seal everything off for good so that I had no more worries and fears. To assure Jace. And I had gotten so caught up that I made it seem like I didn't want to be with Jace at all, and now I didn't know what to do.

I didn't want Jace to let me leave. I know I stormed out and told him not to bother with me, but I wanted him to. And he gave up, so now I could thank my own stupidity for ruining the one good thing I've had the past few months.

I started my cold walk home, my stomach twisting and turning in unbearable bouts of anxiety. The walk took longer than usual as I struggled to not slip and fall on the ice. I hated Winter.

I finally approached my house, and now that I knew Cody wasn't here, I almost hesitated to go inside. I really did want closure from him. I thought I had it earlier, when I left him here, but after arguing with Jace I needed more.

I went upstairs to my room to find Cody's things neatly placed on the floor, the sheets of my bed a little ruffled up. I noticed a photograph of me and Cody- one of him kissing my cheek and me mid-laugh- on my bedside table. I always kept it on the wall. The thought of Cody sitting here looking at these pictures made my heart ache.

I impulsively texted Demetri.

I heard you're with Cody, my ex-boyfriend.

I sent. I don't know why I made it sound so...condescending. I was just really irritated that Demetri somehow found his way to him.

Yeah. I went by your house to see if you wanted to hang out. I found him there waiting for you.

He replied. I couldn't help but make a face to myself.

And then took him off to where?

Get food. Poor guy's miserable, Rayne. I'm sorry if you're bothered. I just felt bad.

Well I'm home. Either keep him with you for the night or have him come here. I replied, knowing I was being snarky. I cared about Demetri. I didn't know why I was feeling this surge of...jealousy?

I'll bring him now.

I left my phone on my nightstand and went to take a shower. I still had Jace all over me. I missed him already.

I got out and went to my room with wet hair and my black sweatpants on, and heard the front door opening and closing. Cody was here.

I quickly went into my room and dug around for a shirt to put on. As I was slipping it over my head, I heard him behind me.

"No need to be modest, Rayne. I've seen far more of you than that." He said quietly. I finished putting the shirt on as the heat flooded into my face. Cody always had this certain tone in his voice when he wanted to tease me, or say things that sounded sensual. Because he knew I had a huge kink for dirty talk. The tone he used now almost transported me back to England, back to his big soft bed, when he'd have his hands all over me, saying those kinds of things into my ear.

I composed myself and turned to look at him.

"Well you won't be seeing me like that anymore." I said, but it didn't come out as strongly as I'd hoped. Thankfully though, he dropped his eyes and went to sit on my bed.

"Rayne..." He started, and then stopped. He sighed deeply and shook his head, more to himself. "Rayne, it's not possible that you don't still love me." he said, looking up at me again. I stared into his face for a moment before going and sitting next to him, but not too close.

"I know it's not. We've been in each others' lives far too long. But you hurt me and I tried to move on and I did. If Jace wasn't as good to me as he is, I'd still be hung up on you. But he's been great to me." I mumbled, my heart aching because I knew Jace was at home feeling abandoned and worthless. I knew that feeling all too well, and it made me nauseous to know I was hurting him like that.

"He beat you up, Rayne. I don't care how good he is to you now, he hit you before." He said, and I could feel the tension radiating off of him.

"I hit him too. And trust me, He and I have gone over it. It's been a couple of months now and he hasn't so much as raised his voice at me." Jace and I were...well whatever we were now, but that didn't mean I was going to make him seem like a bad guy. He was too good to me.

"Well Rayne, I never hit you at all. Not once. We fought of course, but we've known each other for years. You couldn't expect us not to." He looked me in the eyes earnestly. "We know each other better than anyone else on this planet does." he said, his white-blonde hair falling slightly over his eyes. He needed a haircut.

"I know that." Was the only reply I had. He slowly reached his hand out and placed it on top of mine, squeezing softly. I knew I shouldn't, but I felt comforted. He was familiar and the only person in the world who knew me to my deepest levels. He'd seen me at my best and worst.

We sat in silence for a few, his hand still on mine, just listening to each other's' breathing.

"I see you've got yourself some nice things," he said, breaking the silence.

"How do you mean?"

He motioned towards the two brand new pairs of shoes I'd bought myself with my first paycheck, and the thick warm coat hanging on my closet door. Cody knew better than anyone I never owned many new things unless they were given to me by him or hand-me-downs.

"Well I moved here with next to nothing. I actually have a job here. I decided to go and get myself some things. Not like I had you to share clothes with anymore," I joked.

"I'm proud of you." Was all he said. I turned to face him, and he brought his hand up to brush my hair away from my face. I could feel where this was going and I refused to let it happen. He leaned in to kiss me, and as much as I think I wanted him to, I turned my face so that he got my cheek instead.

"I've never been a cheater, Cody." I said, standing. I screwed up with Jace once, with Demetri, and I would not do that again.

"We never officially broke up," Cody said, standing too. He came up to me and took both of my hands in his. I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and have his around my waist. I did. He did. I rested my head on his shoulder, and I could breathe in his familiar scent, the one that used to put me to sleep every night. I could tell it was him with a blindfold on in a room full of men. He was my Cody. But not anymore.

We held each other for a while.

I told him he could stay in my bed and I would stay on the floor. He disagreed and made himself a cushioned place to lay on the ground next to my bed, so I curled up on the edge of my bed with my hand hanging over, holding his.

I didn't sleep well that night.