the heartbreaker

↠ dearnumber5

dear number 5,

i think it's around you when i really stopped caring.

i had already broken 4 girls hearts, and then you came around, all put-together with a heart not broken into pieces.

so, i just had to go and break it. by then, that's who i was. it's who i am.

you see, as each girl went by, i cared less and less. so when it came to you, i just didn't care. simple as that. yeah, it's cruel. but it's what happened.

i mean, you did choose to date me in the first place.

bad move on your part.

do you know how much apologizing i've done to then numbers that came before you?

i should apologize to you too, i mean, i literally just said i didn't care at all in our relationship. it made and makes no difference to me whether or not we were together or broken up, you care about me at all or just think i'm a raging dick.

doesn't really matter to me, if i've being honest. think of me how you want. that's the kind of the point of these letters.

we lasted 3 months, which is impressive, especially considering. i mean, i didn't give a crap the entire time, yet we still made it to that 3 month mark. how?

i don't know.

i guess i do have to say that you're one of the people i have heard the least about since our breakup, and i do genuinely hope you are doing good. number 4's got everything she ever wanted, number 2's dating that football player, number 3's like a model or something. you i don't know. but i hope it's something better than dating me.

you see, i am a jackass, but you just gotta give me a little bit of a chance, and i can say at least one redeeming thing.

and for you, that's the fact that i hope you're not in a ditch somewhere or in another dead-end relationship. that i hope that you're enjoying college and your life and everything.

i do genuinely hope for that. i am a bad person - there is no denying that - but even bad people have even one redeeming trait.

for me, it's not even really a trait. i just wish well for people whose lives i have already messed up. i feel even the most evil person must wish that for at least a single person whose life they had ruined.

but i would like to note something. when we broke up, the last text you ever sent me was that i would never amount to anything in life, because i just did not care enough. i was wasting everything i was given for popularity.

well, number 5, there's where you were wrong. i am currently at mit, majoring in science, technology, and society with a minor in biomedical engineering. it is paid for in part by multiple grants i received in the sciences.

sure, i didn't give a shit at all about you, and i broke your heart.

but you? you never believed in me.

and i think that's the biggest reason why i never cared about you.

you see, i can deal with a lot of stuff. but if the person i'm dating doesn't even believe in me enough to say i will accomplish nothing, then you may as well be just as evil as i am.

from,

someone who did amount to something in his life.