What It Is And Isn't

Chapter 13

Rose had an idea that the Doctor was uncomfortable with staying with her. The thought made her feel a bit insecure, as he hadn't minded sharing a bed with her before, in their room. He had curled up around her, made himself quite at home, if she remembered correctly.

And she did remember correctly. She remembered him cuddling her and holding her, like she had always wanted him to hold her, and he had. She hadn't imagined that.

But when he scampered off to change into his jim jams, she sagged a little. She knew that he didn't want to be there, that he was merely doing it to appease her. She breathed out a sigh. Well, she usually wouldn't force him, but she felt so scared to be alone. Even alone and changing in her room, she felt as though something was going to come up and grab her.

He was just too friendly. If he didn't feel anything for her, he shouldn't be so comfortable with her, so close. It made her nervous, afraid to do anything that might push him too far. She felt cold panic rise up in her the longer she was alone, and that, coupled with her thoughts of the Doctor, made her start to pace nervously around the room.

The Doctor knocked before he came back in, and she adjusted her pajama top before she called out, "You can come in." She hoped her voice didn't stake too much. She couldn't even tell, her blood was pounding so hard in her ears.

He entered, in the jim jams from Christmas, and shut the door, creating the illusion that they were even more alone then they were before. He smiled crookedly at her and padded over to the bed before he saw the look on her face. "What's wrong?" He asked, walking over to her and touching her shoulders.

She shook her head. "It's stupid, I'm sorry."

"No, don't be sorry, what's wrong?" He bent his knees, trying to look at her in the eyes. She blushed a little but met his gaze.

"Sorry. I just didn't like being alone." She admitted, wringing her hands together in front of her. He wrapped his arms around her back and squeezed her firmly.

"You're safe now," he whispered. "You know that, don't you?"

She nodded against his chest. "I know," she murmured, slowly bringing her hands up to his back. He hummed happily, the goofy hum that made her giggle, and released her, grinning down at her, relieved when she was smiling back up at him. He walked away from her, now unsure of what to do with himself. He sat down awkwardly on the side of the bed and she laughed a little before walking to the other side of the bed. She kicked her slippers off, still not really putting any weight on her ankle, before getting under the covers and trying to tug them out from under him. He looked at her sheepishly.

"I didn't want to presume you'd be comfortable with me-"

"Better than the thing that was holding me captive," she snapped, tired of his attitude, tired of his reluctance, tired, just tired. He could hug her and chat with her but he couldn't share a bed with her like he had the past couple of days? Absolutely ridiculous. She chewed her bottom lip and raised her eyebrows at him. He sighed and she had a feeling that she had gotten him to break down enough to climb into bed with her. She thought it was rather sad that she had to break him down to do that. She closed her eyes and he climbed in next to her, jostling the mattress as he went. She heard him sigh and shift about just a little bit. He settled next to her, and she could tell he was facing her, waiting for her to do something.

As always, she was going to have to make the first move. She scooted forward, sensing that he wasn't going to do anything, and cuddled up against his chest, letting out a relieved sigh when her cheek connected with this chest. She felt more comfortable with the feeling of his skin against hers, as opposed to the cold of the night in the forest. The lights of the TARDIS were dimmed slightly, like the ship knew that she wouldn't want it all the way dark there. The Doctor's hand fluttered behind Rose before settling on her back, and he shoved his other hand under her side so he could pull her closer. Their legs tangled of their own free will, and Rose felt herself relaxing.