Engaged

Chapter Two: The Meltdown

A phone started ringing. Is that my phone? Nope. It's his.Why is he still staring at me? Answer your phone asshole. So, you're just going to let it ring out? Great. Grrrr. I should bite him. Too bad it won't work. I tried. 

"Why are you mad babe?" 

Of course he's still playing. There are times like this when I wonder when he knows not to play. And that dopey smile, once again grows on his face. Ohhhh. Of course. Babe. I hate that word. Always have. Fucking babe.

I keep my face expressionless. He said it to get a reaction out of me. Well he won't. I'm on to him. I won't fall for his tricks anymore. He lets out a frustrated sigh. 

"I was trying to lighten the mood."

Then try leaving. 

As I thought that, his phone stops ringing. He lifted my wrists and shook me, only a little. Then he tucked his face into my neck, He stayed like that for a while. Just silent with his face in my neck. It seemed like he was always the most comfortable when his face was in the crook of my neck.

Eyes closed, breath fanning my collarbone as he breathes me in. But this time, I could feel it more than every other time, hot as fire. Scorching me. And not in the good way. This time, it feels like dragons' breath blowing on me, ready to burn a hole into my flesh.

This brought back memories to the first time he'd ever done this. I was so nervous and I wasn't sure if I should push him away, in fear that I would ruin something that brought him ease. I never regretted that decision until today.

Eli Graham has the power to make me regret every decision I'd ever made. 

"You smell so good. Please don't be mad at me."

I'm not mad at you. I'm so past mad I don't even know what I'm feeling anymore. 

"I love you," he said. 

Those last three words echoed in my mind, quickly drifting me into madness. I lost it. I fought him with everything I had. I bucked. I kicked. I thrashed. I threw punches that went absolutely nowhere. I don't care anymore.

Fuck you Eli Graham. Stop lying. You don't love me. Not even a little bit. And somehow I ended up out of breath, with tears streaming down my face, soaking up in Eli's shirt, sitting up, with my face nestled into his chest and his chin resting on my head.

He's hugging me now, in one of his gentle bear hugs as he rocks me back and forth shushing me and whispering sweet nothings in my ear. But I can't even hear them. 

I hate you Eli Graham. 

For a little while longer, I sat there, soaking in the familiar comfort of him because no matter how much I want to fight him, I know this is the last time I'll be able to sit comfortably in his embrace like this. The familiar scent of Gain and Eli's cologne drifted into my nose.

I'll miss that scent. Even with all of this fighting, I know for a fact that tonight, I'll be snugged up in his favorite pajama shirt that I stole from his house, smelling the scent of pure, unmasked Eli, no cologne, and the smell of detergent already worn off. That was my favorite smell.

I took in a deep breath, prepared to break my vow.

"Let me go," I finally spoke. It was quiet, yet loud enough to echo throughout the silent room. If I startled him, I would never know. 

Now he's silent. Really?

"Please." I wasn't really asking.

"You have to promise not to hit me again."