'Just Friends' Dan Howell × reader

visitors// 7

I awoke to the sound of laughing boys in the living room. I reached for my phone, checking the time as I slowly began to wake up.
"Ugh" I said outloud, realising I had been asleep for nearly 8 hours. I heard footsteps getting louder and louder as they approached my bed, clearly hearing me wake up.
"Hello cutie" A tall guy with a Essex accent said, opening the curtains to my bed despite me being only in underwear. He didn't seem to care, infact I'm pretty sure he was looking me up and down in approval. He winked at me as he went back to the others, knowing he wasn't gonna get a response from the dirty look on my face. I climbed out id the bed, still in my underwear from earlier when it got too hot. I left into the front room to ask where They'd put my bag, despite my lack of clothes.
"Guys where are my clothes?" I asked as I walked into the 'living room'.
"Through there" Phil said, pointing at the front of the bus as the tall dude from earlier bit his lip. I left for the front of the bus, crossing a full length mirror on my way. All is saw was fat. My stomach felt like i hadn't stopped eating since last week. I can't let myself get fatter. I'll stop eating completely, By next week I'll be thin. I sighed, grabbing my bag and rushing to the bathroom so I could get changed without anyone seeing me naked. I yanked my over sized red jumper over my head quickly, vaguely listening to the boys conversations in the other room.
"She's getting too thin" I heard from Dan.
"I haven't seen her eat since she came here." Phil responded.
"Still fit though" The other guy said, laughing at his own joke but clearly not amusing neither Dan or Phil.
If managed to dress myself completely by the time they'd finished their 'private' conversation.
"I'm ready" I said, sitting next to Phil on the couch.
"Okay we're going to stop off at pizza hut so we can actually eat dinner, even if it's late" He said happily.
"Oh okay, I'm not hungry so I'll stay on here." I replied, knowing if I ate if have to puke it up, which would probably make the whole bus smell like sick so I'd rather take this option. Dan gave me a concerned look before looking at Phil and nodding. Something's gonna happen.
"Babe come with me" Dan said, standing up and reaching for my hands. I followed him into the fancy bedroom at the end of the bus since it's the only private place here
"You haven't been eating y/n. Why?" He asked. Tears immediately rushed down my face, knowing Id disappointed the guy I loved. I don't want him to spend all day worrying about what I've been eating.
"Dan.. every time I look in the mirror I see fat. Nothing else and I want that to change. Please don't hate me" I slurred. With that I was embraced in a warm hug yet again. Dan knew how to comfort me.
"I'm gonna help you overcome this y/n, we'll do it together." He whispered soothingly.
"Y/n will you be my girlfriend?" He asked nervously.
"Ovcourse" I replied, a grin plastering my face despite the tears still dripping down my face. I smiled at him as he gave me a reassuring look. He grabbed my hand, wanting to go back to the living room. I stood up, following him back whilst making eye contact with a still concerned Phil.
"Everything will be okay" Dan said to Phil, knowing he was worried. I gave him a light smile as I sat on Dan's lap not wanting to sit next to the Essex guy.
"I'm Sam, babes." He told me, leaning over for a hug. I wrapped my arms around him awkwardly, cautious of him. I don't think I'll like this guy, even if he is my boyfriend and bestfriends friend. We came to a halt, stoppi g at the pizza hut as all the boys got ready to leave. I pretended to fall asleep, knowing Dan would make me have some if not.
-time skip-
(45 minutes later)
"Y/n? Baby I know you're not asleep. You need to eat" I heard Dan sigh. He seemed upset. I opened my eyes, seeing if Dan was okay.
"Dan I'll be fine. I don't need help. It might help me lose weight." I argued, standing up so I can go to the bathroom. I'd had enough, I don't want to feel like this anymore. I don't want to look like this anymore. I don't want to be a burden to the boys. I'll take it slow, make sure nothing major happens. If it does, I guess it'll be okay.
I slid my back against the door, collapsing on the floor. The floor was the only place in that bathroom I didn't have to see my reflection staring back at me. I removed my phone case from my phone, finding my collection of hidden blades. I took one out of my hidden makeup bag and slid the cold metal across my bare wrist. The blood trickled down my arm as tears slowly slid down my cheeks. This proccess repeated itself another 6 times Until I had no energy left to continue. I trailed back into my bedroom, tears still staining my cheeks as the boys gave me concerned looks. I tried to cover it up with a small smile, despite my head facing the floor. I slouched across the small bedding area, yanking the purple curtain across so I was completely hidden. Slowly, my eyes closed, greeting me with darkness as I fell into a deep slumber.

I felt a hand in my hip, slowly moving down, fingers slowly tracing the line of my shorts. To start with I tried to ignore it, assuming it was only Dan messing about. Slowly, I felt a hand slide down my underwear, stopping as they reached my hip bone. He retrieved his hand but pulled me closer to him, leaving after 10 extremely uncomfortable minutes. I finally got to sleep after a sligtly weird night, deciding to face the issue in the morning