i guess thats it // 1

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"Bye guys and I'll see you in the next video!" I said, cheerily after finally finishing the day of filming. Pete should be home from work soon for our anniversary dinner so I decided to edit before I slept, not wanting to leave my job unfinished. I entered the kitchen, needing a drink after the newly filmed cover of 'defying gravity' from wicked. After I took the first gulp of water, I was met with a knocking on the door, followed by an awkward cough I recognised as Pete's. I rushed to the door, extremely happy to see him again after a week. I opened the door, smiling at him despite the strange frown plastered across his face. It was unlike him to be miserable on such a special day but I brushed the thought out of my head, ready for a good night. I climbed into the land rover, Pete holding the door open for me like usual. We quickly reached the resteraunt where we first met, it being only 3 blocks away from my apartment. The ride was short yet extremely awkward with no words said. Me and Pete would occasionally make eye contant, a worried glance from him and a almost pittiful smile from me. We entered the fancy black doors into the overly priced fish resteraunt, at which he asked me to be his girlfriend. We shared an un meaningful hug before we sat down to look at the pair of menu's on the table.
"Pete what's wrong?" I asked, genuinely curious to why he is acting so strange on what's normally a good day.
"Um y/n, i think..." He paused, clearly thinking about what to say next.
"I'll tell you after our meal." He continued, sighing after he finally finished, just as the food arrived. The rest of the meal was filled with me trying to make conversation  and failing. Each try was simply met by a worrying glare from Pete, despite me not doing anything wrong to my knowledge. Eventually, we finished our meals, me finally getting used to the awkward air between us. "So..." I said, nervously. "what are you gonna tell me" I questioned, my voice breaking mid sentence from nervousness.
"Uhh, I think we should break up" He said. That was the moment I felt my heart fall, almost as if it had broken completely.
"Why?" I asked, my eyes tearing up at the thought of not beig with him anymore.
"Um. I think I'm in love with Carrie" he said, his face covered in guilt. In that moment, I felt myself slip out of grip.
"Ju...just take me home" I said sternly, tears now running down my cheek as I climbed into the back of the car, wanting to be as far away to him as possible.  Thank god the drive was only a few minutes. After what felt like years, he dropped me at my front door, not bothering to walk me to the door or even say a simple goodbye. I slammed the door behind me before sliding down the back, almost drowned in my own tears. Suddenly, my phone buzzed, bringing my attention to the lit up screen. '2 New messages- Dan Howell' it read, making me smile despite how shit Ive felt since the 'date'. Dans been my best friend since I was 18, still remaining one of the only people who can make me happy since my parents died. 'Hey you nerd, um so one of your fans saw you crying with Pete and filmed it. Are you ok?' The text read. 'you can stay at me and Phil's if you like' he said, knowing what might happen if I'm home alone too much. Tears continued rushing down my cheeks as I thought about how I'll probably never see Pete again. I was shocked as the bell to my house rang, drawing my attention yet again to the door and trying to make myself look decent before I answered. I opened the door, wiping away tears and faking a smile. "Hello, nerd" a certain 'articulate' voice said, his voice cracking mid sentence. I can tell he's been crying, presumably over my current situation. "Hi" I responded, running into his arms as we both started sobbing. "Come on, you're coming to mine and Phil's" he said, his neck buried in my hair. We hopped in the car my spirit slightly rising, as usual when Dan or Phil came to see me. We both got in the back of our taxi, ready for a change on scene. We arrived at their apartment, 30 minutes of emotions later. At the door i was Greeted by a pitiful looking Phil, a small smile on his face as he embraced me in a warm hug. One of the hugs you have when you haven't seen someone in a long time. We entered the apartment, both boys talking as I recalled the previous events of today. "Guys I think I'm gonna go to sleep" I said quietly, thanking them for helping me so much recently. I left into the spare bedroom, catching a glimpse of my battered face in the mirror. All i saw was ugliness, I clearly wasn't worth anyone's time. I settled down on my bed, ready for the 4 hours of tumblr browsing awaiting me until I eventually fell asleep.

A/n thank you for reading, I know it's not great but I'll try to upload a few times a week xx

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