Dead to Bites

Chapter Five

The drive up Mulholland Drive was beautiful. The top was down on my Jeep Wrangler and there was a nice breeze kicking up my hair. I was suddenly very glad I hadn't followed the impulse to hack it all off and dye bright pink. I sang along with the 90s top songs that blared from my radio. If Madonna had needed a backup singer... it wouldn't have been me.

I had briefly read over the report I had on Andrea Wüfsbane. Her family had a long line in the werewolves on both sides. She knew what she was from a very young age. Her grandfather had been a pack leader, her father had never wanted the chaos his father had put on his family for the tribe. Andrea had no children, nor did she ever want to while she held the title. She had lost her parents early due to a pack feud. She knew the pain of being in the pack. She didn't want to cause that to a child, or so a source had been quoted. Andrea was thirty last October. She was trained in several different types of fighting- her hands were registered weapons. This was not the kind of person you'd want to get into a fist fight with, or even a poking contest. She had a MBA and ran several businesses, which she used some of the profits to take care of the pack. She knew what she was doing. It didn't tell me much of her personal interests. But the report did include some of her favorite foods. One of which happened to be mine, Galaxy chocolate. I had brought a couple to share. Yes, it was both a lame excuse and brilliant one to enjoy something you love.

The house belonged up there with all the rich and famous that hid out in the hills. It was a stone monster. It definitely was built thinking back to the days of yore when man was the master of his own castle and a fat bank account.

Maybe, I should have washed my car before I drove up here. I thought to myself as I pulled into the immaculate driveway.

My Jeep was it's normal “wash me” self and I felt like I was a maid coming to clean their beautiful, perfect home. Only there was no way I would get hired because, let's face it, I suck at cleaning. A man approached my car as soon as the engine was off.

“Miss, do you have an appointment?” He wore one of those secret service clear earpieces, I so wanted to laugh.

“No, but I am here on official government business and I need to see Miss Wüfsbane.” I pulled out the badge that the government had issued to me for just such occasions.

“Please wait here while I see if she in.” He walked off with my identification, glancing back several times with a bemused look on his face.

“Right, you're going to check to see if she'll see me and just so you know, I'm so gonna talk to my boss about the name.” I said to myself as I pulled things from my bag that would probably get me thrown out, i.e. my taser, pepper spray, brass knuckles (hey, you never know!), and other sharp projectiles might be mistaken as weapons- we won't talk about all the disguised things I carried with me that remained.

A few minutes later the guy returned, walking a little faster than he left, “ She will see you. Walk straight into the house and turn left. Her assistant will guide you further.” The man actually blushed while he said it.

“Uh... thank you?” I said as he walked away, leaving my badge on the passenger seat.

I got out a little more cautious than before. I could not even begin to imagine what had freaked that poor guy out. No, that wasn't true, I instantly came up with the most horrific and then most obscene ones my mind could come up with. Like maybe she was sitting in her hunting room with all the trophy heads of her enemies on pikes around her, or maybe the poor guy had accidentally stumbled across his boss taking a serious poo. Not that I was prepared in the least for what I walked into.

The house was as beautiful as it was on the outside. I took the first hallway on the left and was promptly met by a man wearing nothing more than a loincloth. I mean, Tarzan had more on than this guy. When he walked his ass cheeks hung out for the world to see. Not that I minded looking at them, but I'm sure the poor dude felt embarrassed- I know I sure ass fuck would.

“Miss Purrowells?” His voice was quiet.

“That's me.” I said, trying to match his level- but failing.

“Mistress Andrea will receive you in her office. Please follow me.” He turned and walked off.

I tried hard not to stare as one cheek lifted slightly and then the other, creating a small bompiddity, bompiddity rhythm. It was almost impossible to suppress my giggle. It was absolutely absurd.

I guess that's how it all works, when you think you've seen it all you've not seen anything yet.