"No no no no NO! This is ridiculous!" he screamed, throwing the magazine on the floor. I jumped as it landed, the pages crinkling. I'd never seen him look so flustered before.
"Jamie what-"
"For God's sake! I'm so sick of this!" he yelled, storming out of the house and slamming the door. Completely bewildered I put the bookmark into my book and placed it down beside me on the sofa. Stretching out my legs, I walked over to the disguarded magazine curious as to what had gotten my boyfriend so upset. I picked it up flicking through the pages until I came across the article.
"Is City Of Bones Actor Jamie Campbell Bower Smoking A Little More Than Tobacco?"
This was then followed by multiple pictures of Jamie with a cigarette in his mouth. I scoffed, knowing full well that the photos were from ages ago and he had not been near a cigarette for almost 8 months. With the magazine gripped tight in one hand, I stormed into the kitchen, slamming the bin lid open and throwing the magazine into it. Slipping one of Jamie's hoodies over my head, I headed out the door to find him. I didn't have to go far when I saw a figure down the alleyway next to our house.
"Jamie?" I asked softly, not wanting to startle him. It didn't work as he jumped and began flailing around.
"Don't - I mean - Don't look at me. Bea go away, I don't want you to see this, I-" he stuttered. Crinkling my eyebrows I stepped closer to see what was going on.
"Jamie what are you- Oh no. Jamie you're not." I covered my mouth with my hands as I saw the one thing that he knew would upset me most. He brought his hand to his mouth taking another drag of the cigarette.
"I thought you'd given these up." I stated, my voice wobbling.
"So did I." he sighed.
"Well then what-"
"I couldn't do okay Bea. I can't do it." He said, his voice raising. I stepped back a little, his tone frightening me.
"Can't do what?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest as the cold wind hit.
"I'm sick of the press. Sick of them assuming stuff. I hate how involved in my life they are. They don't know me, NOBODY KNOWS ME." he yelled.
"Please, just put the cigarette down." I tried staying calm as he continued to raise it to his lips.
"Why should I? What's the point anymore?" his voice taking on a defeated tone.
"Because Jamie. Don't you see what you're doing? You're letting them get their way! This is what they want! They want you to break, they want a good story to print, that's all." I spoke, my voice desperate as his head turned to face the ground.
"Well let them have it. I'm done with trying to be perfect." he whispered.
"You don't have to try. You're perfect to me." I replied in a softer tone. From our porch light, I could see a small smile adorn his face before his expression turned to stone again. Once more, he took a drag, with each breathe sucking the patience out of me. It was time for the final card.
"Jamie. If you don't put that out then that's it. That's it for us."
His head immediately snapped up, eyes burning into mine.
"W-what?" he stuttered, his mouth hanging agape. "You're serious?"
I nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. Smoking was the one habit I couldn't stand and I couldn't stay here and watch him slowly kill himself all because of some stupid rumours from the press. He looked from me, to his hand, back to me again. All the while my eyes staying on his.
"Please." I whispered. "Don't go back to this. You tried so hard, you came so far. Don't let some ridiculous story that no one will believe cause you to backtrack on to this. Please." My vision was beginning to cloud as I felt the tears start to form. I'd always tried to be strong for him, but he knew I was serious about this. I couldn't bare to watch him do this to himself. He stayed quiet for a while, the only sound was the wind tearing away at the trees.
"Okay." he whispered suddenly.
"What?" I asked.
"Okay. I'll stop. Just please, don't leave me." he sounded so vulnerable, so weak to what it was a few moments ago.
"Put it out." I ordered, nodding to the object in his hand. It immediately fell from his fingers, his foot smashing it into the ground. "Thank you."
I closed my eyes, taking in a relieved breath as I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around me.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." he repeated like a mantra. I wrapped my arms around his waist pulling him close. His lips softly pressed to the side of my neck as he buried his head in the crook. A few tears fell from his eyes onto his jumper causing me to squeeze tighter.
"You don't have to be sorry. Just promise me something." I spoke, pushing him away slightly.
"Anything." he said, his eyes burning into mine. My hands raised to either side of his face, my thumbs wiping away at his cheeks softly.
"Promise me you will never listen to anything that is written in those magazines or newspapers. Promise me you will never touch another cigarette again. Can you do that?" I asked. He nodded against my hands, taking one in his and kissing the palm of it softly.
"Thank you." I whispered, using my free hand to pull him down and press a full kiss onto his lips.
"I love you." he mumbled into my mouth.
"I love you too."
-------------------------------------------------------
- Jazz - x
Twitter: @handsupforliam
Instagram: @thefaultinourstyles
Ask.Fm: http://ask.fm/OdairCresta4
