Attention Seeker // Luke Hemmings au

Chapter Four// Percy

There's something familiar in Diana's expression as I peek through the doorway at her. I'm not sure how exactly to describe it--hurt, anger, helplessness, despair? It's the same look she had at the doctor's when they dropped the bomb that Dad had ALS, and later the same year when she started going to therapy, and a few months after that when she first attempted suicide and spent weeks in the hospital without speaking to anyone. I don't want her to go through that again. 

"Are you Diana's boyfriend?" I turn around and see a man in a lab coat staring at me. His grip tightens carefully on his clipboard as he looks me up and down, taking in my tattoos and overall rough appearance. He obviously either disapproves or doesn't trust me. Maybe both. "Or a friend of Ciel's?" 

"I..." Ciel. I haven't troubled myself with Ciel for weeks. Or at maybe the other way around. He's always had a sort of hollowness to him. I guess that's what drew me to him at first. Nothing had really happened between us until that one night. I think they were having a movie night?

"Hello?" I peek around my doorway and see a figure sitting in a ball right outside my door. "Hey, uhm--" I stop short, seeing it freeze and tense up. "Are you one of Diana's friends?" I tilt my head and rub the back of my neck awkwardly.

The figure looks up. "O-O-Oh. I'm sorry, Percy. I didn't realize you were home. I didn't mean to bother you," he says quickly without stopping for breath. The dude stands up so quickly he almost falls over, and I reach out and grabbed his arm to steady him. I try not to notice how he flinches under my touch. "I'll just go--"

"Shut up." I roll my eyes, and he stops talking immediately. I can't quite remember his name. "Listen, kid," I look down and realize I'm still holding his arm, and quickly let go. Awkward much? "What's going on?" I try not to think about how there's a series of red lines scattered across his arm, peeking out from the sleeves of his oversized sweater. 

"It's Ciel," he just barely mutters. He looks up to meet my eyes, and I realize how amazingly blue his irises are. They're a dark, bottomless blue, kind of how I would imagine the bottom of the ocean would be, with flecks of a lighter blue. Sky blue. They're... gorgeous. I later found out that Ciel was french for sky. The dark circles under his eyes give his face a somewhat gaunt look. After a few moments, he looks down awkwardly. "Look, I ought to get back to Diana. She's probably worried."

"I doubt it." I lean against the wall ever so casually. "I love my sister to death, but she's clueless. She probably thinks you're in the bathroom, which gives you plenty of time to explain why you were crying outside my bedroom."

"Well..." He stares down at his shoes for a few a while, probably debating whether or not he could trust me. Running a hand through his icy white hair, he sighs in resignation. "My parents kicked me out today..." He doesn't look me in the eye, instead tilting his head down and letting his long bangs hide his face.

"Why on earth would they do that?" My voice rises with every word, although I don't mean for it to. I can't help it. This is possibly the sweetest kid ever, and looking at him right now, it's obvious he won't be able to make it on his own. I'm so lost in my own thoughts, I barely notice how uncomfortable he looks. Finally, he breaks through my thoughts.

"Percy, I'm gay." 

"I'm Diana's brother," I explain to the doctor. Should I have explained Ciel and I to the doctor? Maybe. Somewhere, he's probably cringing at my idiocy. I was supposed to be rebellious, yet I can't even admit that I'm... Ugh. I'm such a loser.

"Oh, I see. Let her grieve for a few more minutes, okay? She's just had some rough news," he says. He scribbles something down on his clipboard, seeming completely uninterested in me or my presence.

"Rough news?" I echo, my heart dropping into my stomach. I knew this would happen. I knew it, I knew it... So why didn't I do anything about it? Oh, God. I'm such a terrible person. Poor Ciel. I should have called him back, dammit...

"Ciel committed suicide earlier today," he explains flatly, not even giving me a second glance. Instead, he gives his full attention to his clipboard. "Funny... I had two other attempts today as well." He shrugs. "Kids these days. Such attention seekers." 

I didn't think. I didn't stop to consider the consequences. I'm not even sure what exactly happened. The next thing I know, I have the doctor pinned up against the wall with my forearm pressed up against his neck. My heart's pounding a million miles per minute, but I give him a steady gaze. "Do not ever talk about Ciel in that manner. He is one of the most amazing, beautiful, kind, innocent individuals I have ever met. I would have sacrificed my own life to save him. i'd do anything for that boy. Don't you dare talk about him when you know absolutely nothing about him." 

"If you would do anything to save him," the doctor muses, speaking slowly to make sure I understood. The look in his eyes is dangerous. "Then why didn't you?"