My Love For Grace

Chapter 4

     "Were going to this party tonight, a senator did something big and his sons throwing a party, and its going to be like the best social event of the year," Maurice basically screamed at me. I've heard about this party but with an election days away, senator's party's or their sons party's are the least of my concern. "You have to go, Ana is coming, I know a few others from the office coming and you have to come." She smiled that adorable don't let me go by myself look. In the last month that I've interned here Maurice has been great, and with the end of winter nearing...it might be smart to get out.
     But to a senators sons party?
     Then I said something that the old Grace would say "Ill be there, in a cute black dress." And I winked.
     I don't know whats happening, somehow I'm changing and-I'm actually changing back slowly. At the office I've been asked out by almost any young boy who just started as a first year Lawyer or interns and an extremely old and married pervy lawyer. I'd be lying if I said  that I didn't enjoy their attention. Why wouldn't I love to be hit on by boys? It reminded me that I am beautiful, beautifully broken.

     I don't know when this happened but I'm slowly able to move without him. Im able to eat a bit, and Scars not my only friend anymore. She's been hiding a relationship from me. She still didn't tell me how long that she was seeing him, but his name is Abe. As fast as Abe became her best friend he also somehow became my friend.

     Scar was very happy that I found a friend in him. I don't know how it happened but actually begin to trust him. Trusting a man for me after what Jess put me through; was almost just stupid as pretending that I'm okay.
     Nonetheless Abe became our friend and soon I became the dreaded third wheel. So going out tonight would probably be the stupidest choice ever, but at this rate but could be worse?
     I know I deserve a night out as much as I don't want to it would be nice to have a distraction. To actually feel anything. I want to feel. But after what Jess did I haven't felt. What is there to feel except for failure? I I failed, I failed at making him happy.
     Jess left figure out life maybe it's time for me to keep living my life.

"Meet us here, at 7? The party starts at 7, and we love to look fashionably late. Oh and that black dress better show those curves off." She winked at me and walked away. My first invite to a work-related social gathering, and it just so happens that I do want to go. I laughed and smiled, 

"I'm ready to look better than everyone there." 

"Don't look too good, your single boss is going too." Maurice smiled at me, we have lunch everyday and she's noticed Austin Lynch Jr might be smitten with me, however I disagree that a 30 something year old burly man would never be into a beautifully broken intern who has given up her worth and is becoming a Para. 

"No." I stared at her over my salad that perked me up, "This isn't the biggest party of the year, he should not be going tonight. Your joking!" 

"Perks of being at the front office, I hear it all through his secretary."

"Ana didn't tell me, why should it matter?" 

"It matters because Ana is smitten with Austin, they had a fling last year and she got pregnant." Maurice paused and I was speechless I couldn't even continue this conversation, Austin Lynch has a child? He seems like the biggest waste of life if he as beautifully built and made as god made him; threw his means away to a secretary. "Ana ended up Aborting the baby, because she wanted to but I think Lynch Sr bought her off. Still that girl pines over him, and ever since he has not even kissed a girl. Austin is so scared to be a father apparently. I heard that last year he was going to marry her, even though he didn't love her. But then she aborted baby Lynch, and thus now their relationship."

"Why does she still work here?" Is all I managed to say to that. Austin Lynch had a baby, he actually might be a solid man. Having a baby and marrying the mother. Wow, Austin is more a man than I ever imagined him to be. 

"She has another kid, a boy 2 years old. He comes first in her life, and since Lynch pays her so well she can't afford to get a different, nicer job." 

"Ana has kids, I never would have thought that." Ana a mom, she probably is a great mom. 

"She's a really great mom, I am so excited for her to meet a guy who loves her like he should and marry her so that they can have great cute babies; I would love to hold little babies again being called Aunt Mar." 

"Aunt Mar?" I laughed it sounds so weird.
"Well if you had a baby Grace, I'd hope that I could be Aunt Mar." She huffed like a little school girl, and I laughed about her frustration, Maurice wants to be called Aunt Mar.

"I don't want a baby." Mar knows that I don't talk about a guy, she pesters me but I can't bring myself to tell her my heartbreak. I can't remind myself of it, I've done enough of the hoping and praying for someone to come and help in my life, I finally can eat, sleep and breathe without Jesse and I need it to stay that way.
"You do someday." She corrected me which reminded me of Jesse more, he used to say that all the time, that I will want kids with him...someday. I wanted that someday to come quicker than anything, which then makes me so angry that Ana could have had a baby one that I lost, and she aborted and killed the living thing. How could someone do that? I started to think way too much and it distracted me, I was on the verge of tears when I was interrupted in my thoughts "I'm sorry to make you cry, I didn't mean to." 
"I'm fine, lunch is over. Lets get back." I frowned, I really cannot take any people right now, I can't take Ana right now. It brings back so much heartbreak. 
"G, I'm sorry, but your bugging. Please tell me whats wrong." She pulled me back and looked at me with concern and I've missed this. So I give in. 

"I was in a long relationship, we almost had a baby. But I lost the baby at 17. We kinda didn't break up, he just-left." I hardly whispered at Maurice and I knew right then and there, we were friends for life. She cared. 
"Did he say anything?"
"He left a letter." I wiped away a tear. "Didn't tell me what I needed to hear." 
"Can I read it one day?" She grabbed my hand "It'll be okay, you'll move on." 
"You can read it whenever you want I just want to keep it always at my house."
"I have my outfit together in my car we can go to your house get ready and chill before the party im off at 5."
"Today I'm off at 4, I might go shopping. Or out to dinner, I haven't wanted to go shopping for food yet."
"Well if you do go out to eat meet me back here at 5."
"Okay"

LATER

"Grace, I have a question can you stay later? I know its a Friday but I'm not about to stay up all weekend after this gala tonight." Austin Jr asked.
"Sure, I was going to go Food Shopping before tonight; but I can stay." I smiled up at Jr. He's definitely not into me.
"Okay well finish that pick up my prints and meet me in my conference area we need to figure out how I can correctly win this shit of a case." He threw his fob on my desk. We have this system that keeps all of our prints on a link that only prints when we scan a fob. I quickly texted Mar telling her I'm not leaving till 5, maybe 6 at the latest.

~
"We finished, in record time." Austin Jr smiled. I looked at the clock, and it was a little after 5:30, Maurice stayed later she bought dinner for Austin and I as well. Which was nice. "Now go get ready to blow people away tonight, I expect you to be there."
"Well its been a long week, I rather just sleep." I smiled back.
"You can sleep drunk." Austin laughed
"Eff that, I sleep when and wherever the hell I please."
"After your internship, would you like to join my team and become one of my personal Paralegals even before you have your degree?" Austin suggested.
"Well, I certainly know what you expect; I know what the daily life in this law firm offers, so I might take you up on that offer. Although I graduate in 11 weeks and I finish my Internship in 8. I might take some time off, to celebrate. After all I'm only 21, graduated job in tow...I think I should go over sees and relax doing sightseeing, live life for once." I thought about how life would be if I gave up living and I just started working right away. "But I want a job on your team."
"I'll give you 7 weeks paid break." Austin smiled his charming smile. Looks like I'm going to be paid and take a break focusing on myself. "Welcome to the team, I will get together a paycheck for all of your time, you'll be paid for that Monday and every other Friday you'll get paid. Starting Paralegals make $18 an hour, I like your effort Grace. And I'm willing to offer to pay you $20 per hour." Austin extended his hand for a handshake. Do i really want to accept this offer and get paid for my internship? I'm rich, I hardly even need a job. But its time that I start living for me.

I extended my hand out to shake his hand. "Its my pleasure Austin Jr."