My Love For Grace

Chapter 7.

I woke up restless, where am I? Sitting up quickly looking around I observed that I was back in my bedroom at our New York Mansion. I haven't been here since I was 17. The room was still a very beautiful pink. My bed set was just a comfortable as I remember. I walked over to the mirror, my favorite bed set I ever had, there were pictures of Jesse and I, him kissing me, my promise ring laid on the dresser, and under it the only picture I had of bean. What's happening?
"Hey your awake." The maid greeted me, mom goes through too many maids, so far Beatrice was my favorite yet. She knew I had a baby. "You might wanna hide that, Charlene is on her way up." My mom Charlene, in my pink room. Oh no. I grabbed beans picture crying inside for my loss of the baby, slid it into my dresser drawer. I looked like I was 17 again, maybe I was pregnant with bean. Maybe this was before I lost the little one...
"Good morning Little girl." My mom came into my room, I didn't know you'd be awake, were going shopping today. Michael's wife Cherry will be around soon. Get dressed, no jeans and remember in three days it'll be Christmas dress appropriately." And with that she left me and the maid, who was fixing my bed.
"Buy some clothes that'll fit you two better. You're going to grow." Beatrice smiled touching my belly.
Bittersweet, I'm still pregnant.
"I will, bean and I will be very careful. Do you know when I'll see Jesse again?"
"The Branham's all are coming to dinner tonight." My heart fluttered, Jesse tonight? I'm the same room as me? With our bean still very much alive?
What is happening?

"Grace, were trying to leave now. Come." My mother yelled up the steps. I wanted to wear a dress but it showed a bit of a tiny baby bump, they can't know yet. So I put leggings on two tank tops to cover the bump and a large red sweater with my uggs.
"Coming!" I rolled my eyes waltzing down the steps, in a graceful manner. I'm the only girl, my name is Grace because my parents thought it would bring their daughter poise and grace.
"Cherry, were ready, the driver is in the car warming it. Let's go ladies." She clapped her hands in a chop chop manner. Oh my mother, what an uptight lady.
I quickly shuffled out the big Victorian door to our New York house. We sold this house shortly after my parents bought out their now empire. I need to tell them about the baby. Jesse and I should do it tonight. The thought of a redo, having my bean. Keeping Jesse, living our lives at McDaniel together with Bean. I hope it's a girl, I hope we can have a stronger relationship than my mom and I do. Much like Jane, Jesse's sister and Ms. Branham have.
I need that.
Three days before Christmas means we're going to the mall in DC for shopping for Christmas gifts. We each need 36 gifts and probably a chance to spoil ourselves. I'll get my nails manicured and my hair cut and dyed, maybe some heels and a cute Christmas dress for tonight.
And so I did. I bought Jesse the nicest gift I could find, and I bought a baby outfit gender neutral, and things for me. I could get crazy. We had the money.
I pulled out my phone and texted Jesse , can't wait to see you tonight, G
I totally was not prepared to see my high school boyfriend for the first time in months.
I am not prepared to have my heart broken again, I'm not prepared to have my heart sewn shut, he broke me. He left me, and this baby I'm pregnant with should have died a month ago. I never carried past Christmas. The baby is due in May, I could pop any minute now and my secret will break my family. When I was 17 I lost bean in November. I remember like it was yesterday. I slept over at Jesse'a house because we thought it was better since we needed to tell the parents before I became a whale. They aren't that smart anyhow I'd been eating like a pig, eating each families out of their houses. Still they never even mentioned it. It was November 22nd two days before Thanksgiving, and Jesse and I were thankful for our Bean and ourselves this year- I started having really bad cramps. Sharp pain in my abdomen, that made me wanna cry, after about two hours of Jesse rubbing my belly, I sobbed myself to sleep. I woke up an hour later to Jesse screaming-as secretly as possible. Blood. There was blood everywhere below my waist.
Jesse scooped me up and ran to the car I still was losing blood, and had a miscarriage. The news broke us, we didn't understand how we couldn't be parents. How we weren't able to watch her grow up into our little princess. Or watch him learn how to hit a baseball. We weren't able to teach the baby anything because god didn't need us to parent right now. I knew that. I'm not religious, but I knew god had a reason for taking out baby away from us. I pretended to be very sick during Thanksgiving, and didn't eat with my family. I was wallowing, mourning over my sweet little one that I should have had. Holding the little ones sweet tiny fingers, changing their butts, being a mom.
Being a supermom.
But November 22nd at 2am, my chances of being a teen mom eliminated. Losing the baby broke everything I had hopes of ever being.
If it hadn't been for Jesse talking sense into me, telling me that yes I lost bean, but there was righteousness behind this. One day we'd be married lawyers owning our own law firm being able to raise our babies the way we intended. We chose to smile about the loss. To be able to rejoice in the face that we conceived a miracle that God called home.

When we got home mom told us that
we had an hour till the rest of our company for tonight's dinner party should be arriving. That meant I had an hour to become a beautiful girl for my reunion with Jesse.

45 minutes later I heard a soft knock on my door and I knew who it could  be I sprayed myself with a little bit of his favorite perfume I own. I was ready. I walked to the door.
When I opened it the 17 year old Jesse stood there lovely, sexy and real. Jesse my Jesse. I started to cry. Stupid hormones.
"Oh Jesse!" I screamed and leapt into his arms. I needed his smell, his taste, his aroma.

I finally had what I needed, and I would rather die fighting him to stay then live another day without him.
"Grace, Grace, Grace wake up" I felt myself shift back out of this world. The world of my baby and my Jesse. I didn't belong here.

"Grace?" I heard someone ask, and I opened my eyes. When I realized where I was I let out a deep sob. Jesse wasn't here. He really did leave. And my baby, our baby is gone too.