Everything About You

Chapter 11

**CHLOE'S POV**

"Why?" He whispered softly in my ear as he hugged me tightly, his lips brushing over my skin sending shivers down my spine. I knew he was asking about my wrists and the scissors. I was taking deep breaths, trying to control my emotions. I couldn't believe he was actually here right now, I thought for sure he would be too freaked out and would leave.

I pulled my head out of the crook of his neck and looked up at him with absolutely no emotion in my eyes. I shrugged in response to his question.

He sighed and started to pull back from the hug. Brief panic flashed across my eyes. I grabbed onto his hand, stopping him from moving before going emotionless again.

"Don't I whispered, maintaining eye contact.

"Don't what?" He breathed out.

"Don't leave me." My mask cracked and emotion filled my eyes. He let out a sigh of relief and kissed me softly.

"I wanted to hear you say it." He put his hand on the back of my head and gently held it to his chest, his lips placing kisses in my hair. "But you can't keep leaving me in the dark." He stated sadly. I sighed deeply.

"Zayn...." I whispered, burying my head further into his chest.

"Hmm" He murmured softly.

"I'm sorry." I breathed. He lifted his head from on top of mine and pulled back to make eye contact with me.

"What am I going to do with you?" He asked sadly, his eyebrows pulling together to form a slight crease between them. I looked away and shrugged.

"Are you still going to love me now?" I asked, scared to know the answer. He gently pulled me back to his chest and wrapped his arms tightly around my body.

"Yeah." He stated. "I don't know if I'm ever going to stop." Zayn whispered, pressing his lips to the top of my head. I let out a sigh of relief and let myself melt into him.

"I don't know what I would do if you left me." I choked back a cry.

"Shhh." He soothed me. "I'm not leaving you baby." He lifted his hand to the back of my head, holding it to his chest and stroking my hair.

"Zayn. Please don't leave me." I begged again. As selfish as it was, I wanted him to reassure me he would always be here.

"Chloe I'm not going to leave you." He sounded frustrated. It was quiet for a while except for my shaky breaths. "We still need to talk about this Chloe." He spoke seriously.

"I can't." I said quietly. I shook my head fervently.

"You need to babe." He insisted.

"No." I spoke louder, pulling back from him. "I don't want to." I tried to get out of his arms but he still held me close to him.

"When you're ready, we're going to talk." Zayn stated firmly.

"I don't want to talk about it." I again stated. "What do you not understand about that?" I looked up into his eyes, giving him a cold stare.

"I understand perfectly." He returned my gaze. "But it's not all about what you WANT Chloe. It's about what you need to make you better." He told me. I tried again to get out of his grip. "You know what? Let's do this tomorrow, I've had enough for today." He stated softly in a pained voice, letting me go and stepping slowly backwards toward the door as he spoke. I immediately regretted my stubbornness. I'd pushed him too far. He noticed the panicked expression in my eyes and sighed deeply. His shoulders dropped a little bit. "I don't know what to do to help you!" He raised his voice. "What do you want from me? Do you want me to just be here for you and watch you suffer without doing a thing to save you? Do you want me to be the bad guy and make you hate me now even though I'm trying to fix you? I want to fix you so badly. I don't know how Chloe. How do I fix you Chloe?" He asked, shrugging his shoulders at the end, his eyes pleading an answer from me.

"I don't know. I'm sorry." I whispered, looking directly into his eyes before letting my gaze drop. He stood by the door unsure of whether to come closer or leave. "I'll talk to you tomorrow." I sighed, giving him the signal to leave. I looked up and a look of confusion crossed his face when he realized I didn't want him to sleep with me tonight. Then a look of hurt.

"Let me know when you figure this out." He gestured to me. Ouch, that hurt. He came closer and cupped my face in his hands, gently kissing my forehead, my eyes fluttered closed. "I love you, you know I do." He whispered so softly I almost couldn't hear him. He then walked back to the door. "I'll be with the boys tonight if you need me." He spoke. I didn't meet his eyes. He took a deep breath and let it out gently before walking out of my room and closing the door behind me.

I was scared without him next to me.