The Future That Can Be. (Boyxboy)

Ch. 5

Arthur's P.O.V

I sat in one of the comforters, looking around as I ate my fruit. I was currently in a picnic with Princess Kaila, yet I wanted nothing more than to be in my chamber. Probably even spend the day with father. That's a lot to say considering the way he is. I looked over at Kaila and smiled as I did. She was a wonderful woman, and she didn't deserve being stuck with this family. Both mine and hers. They were both a wreck only because of our fathers, but what can we do?

"It's lovely of you to have done all this," I commented, not wanting her to think I cared nothing for her or what she does.

She smiled and blushed immediately at my words.

"Thank you," she said, "I tried really hard to set this up. Seems you're a difficult man to get to know so early and quickly."

I looked away and didn't say anything. But she didn't try. No one knew my favorite meal more than one person and I'm sure it was him who worked hard to set this up. Though I understand why she tried to make herself look good.

"Princess, do you actually want this? Us to get married?" I asked.

She looked at me in shock. She nodded her head. Of course she would want to. It's probably what she has heard all her life. I could understand that.

"Of course I do. I like you, Arthur. You are a kind and sweet man. You'll make a wonderful husband."

I raised a brow and nodded slightly, licking my lips. Wonderful husband ? I cannot even make the right decisions half the time. Majority, I have Merlin with me to help. To guide.

I was only hoping she'd say no.

"What about you? Do you want us to get married?"

I looked at her and I stayed silent. Did I really? Well , it wasn't up to me. I know I don't. It was up to someone else. Someone I am waiting for, to see if they too feel the same.

I couldn't say no. I simply smiled and nodded. I dared not open my mouth, for I wouldn't be able to stop any words that leave it.

*~*~*~*~*

I requested for us to leave early. I told her I needed to do some work but in reality, I wanted to talk to Merlin. I asked him to come by my chamber tonight and I wasn't even sure what for. I just said it cause I wanted to see him. What would he think if I just have him stand in the middle of my bedroom?

As we rode back to Camelot, I was thinking of different excuses to come up with for asking Merlin to come by.

I wanted a late bath. I need you to make sure I have clean clothes. Tell me a bed time story.

Damn it.

But by the time we arrived, I had nothing.

"Thank you, Kaila. For today. It was lovely."

She smiled softly at me, "It was my pleasure."

I helped her off the horse and I kissed the back of her hand in good manner. 

"Guards, please attend the horses and everything else, thank you men."

The guards nodded, and Kaila and I walked away. I walked her to her bedroom and wished her a goodnight. When she closed her door, I quickly made my way to my bedroom. I removed my jacket and hung it up, looking around my room.

I sat down after a second, serving myself something to drink to calm myself down. I sighed softly, rubbing my face as I waited for Merlin.

And waited.

And waited.

I looked outside and realized it was probably really late. The village outside the castle seemed peaceful and quiet. I stood up and grabbed my coat, slipping it on. I stepped out of my chamber and headed down the hall to Gaius' chamber. I made sure to stay quiet, just in case. It was also late at night and I wished not to be interrogated as  to where I was heading and why. I stopped outside his chamber and noticed it was dark. I took a peek and saw Gaius in bed.

I realized I couldn't wake him up. That would just be rude. Merlin had probably fallen asleep as well. That idiot, always with his head in the clouds.

I sighed and immediately went back, not even bothering this time to be quiet.

My only solution was to go to bed and just wait until morning to see Merlin again.

More like hope, I'll see him again. There was another explanation as to why he didn't show up tonight, but I'd rather not think that way and just stay on the positive side of things. Though it was slightly hard.

I walked up to my chamber and inside, closing the door.

It didn't take long for me to lay down and fall asleep.

*~*~*~*~*

I woke up, but Merlin wasn't here. There was no usual, "Time to get up!" excitement. No sun blasting my face as the curtains flew open. No smiling face looking down at me.

It was depressing.

I looked around my room before I got out of bed and walked to the window, opening the curtains and looking out. It was obvious it was late morning. I looked around my room and it wasn't clean. The mess I left last night was still in it's place. I looked at the table and there was no breakfast.

I thought for a second before quickly pulling on some clothes. I slipped on my boots and made my way out, walking to Gaius' chamber, but I tried not to get any attention towards me.

I didn't even knock and just bursted into the room.

"Arthur!" Gaius exclaimed but was ignored as I walked to Merlin's bedroom.

I opened the door and found the room empty. There was no sign of Merlin and no sign of someone being here last night. I looked back at Gaius and he watched me, his face features hiding something.

"Where is he?" I asked.

Gaius stayed silent, clearly hiding the truth from me.

"Gaius, don't make me ask again." I spoke gently, not wanting to startle him.

Gaius sighed softly, "He's gone."

The minute he said the words, the thoughts of last night hit me.

"Gone? Gone where?"

"I'm afraid, I cannot tell you that, sire."

"Why not?" I asked, my voice being a bit harsh.

Gaius stayed silent. As if he didn't want to say the reason. And for a second, I thought I didn't want to know the truth either, but it was best to.

"I cannot go against Merlin's wishes." He said quietly.

I stepped back as I heard his response. I looked down at the ground, staying silent for a second before looking back up at Gaius. Is this really happening ?

"He doesn't want me to know?"

Gaius shook his head as he looked at me.

Merlin didn't want me to know. He was gone and he wanted me to not follow him. And that was it. That was my fear. I knew something had been off with him these past couple of days but I did nothing to look after him. I did nothing to make sure he was okay. All he ever does is care for me, and I'm always an arse towards him. But I care for him deeply. And now he's gone and I cannot look for him. All because I tried to hide the truth from him.

If I would've told him earlier, maybe he'd still be here. With me at this moment.

But how could I tell him? It wasn't easy to know the truth myself, let alone him.

Yet who knows when I'll see him again. It's like him to just run away. But by the time he comes back, I might already be married. And I won't be able to tell him.

He might never know that I love him.