SEX YOU two | p.jimin

chapter | 6.5

| jung hoseok's story;

"Hoseok." Jimin ran out and stopped Hoseok from taking another step. He noticed the small orange container hidden in his hand, "You still take those pills? You know it doesn't do anything."

"I need them." Hoseok's hand twitched but he tried to control it by forcing the pill down his throat, "Makes me feel like I'm going to be fine."

"Hoseok you are doing fine-"

He gripped onto the small container tightly, "I'm nowhere near fine. I've been feeling different like all that's happening right now is very familiar to me. I don't want the past to repeat itself. I can't let it happen again."

"It wasn't your fault." Jimin consoled Hoseok but he was too far distracted to listen to a word he says. Hoseok popped another pill in his mouth, "Stop it." Jimin growled. "What happened back then was not your fault. You were a kid for fuck's sake! What could you have done?"

Hoseok threw his back against the wall, releasing a heavy sigh from his lips as he hid the container inside his pocket again. He closed his eyes for a bit and remembered the past. What happened 19 years ago. What he could've done 19 years ago. His mind kept going in circles, trying to find an excuse that never existed, trying to make himself feel good about himself when he knew he doesn't deserve it.

"You need to see a doctor again." I told him, as a friend would advice a friend.

"I am. I am seeing a doctor." He breathed, "I just had sex with her."

...

Hoseok was born in a wonderful family that filled his childhood memories with love and warmth. He was a boy who knows nothing but to hold his mother's hand and to seek for his father's encouraging smile. He loved his parents.

In the middle of winter, when thick layers of pure white snow covered the ground and the branches of trees outside, his sister was born. A healthy baby girl. The young boy was fascinated with her soft, rosy cheeks. He would watch her all day in her cradle, rocking her gently when she cries and letting her small fingers wrap around his pinky finger until he falls asleep beside her. She was very loved.

Hoseok treasured his family very much but they were taken away. He lost everyone he loved. In his young age, he knew what true suffering means. He was tortured everyday. He couldn't get the picture of his parent's bodies lying cold on the floor of their home,covered in their own blood, out of his young mind. He couldn't get their voices out of his head when they told him to take his sister and hide in the basement. Until the end, he endured it all. Until the end, he waited in the dark, cold floor of the basement. Until their last breath, he loved them. He must keep his promise to protect her.

They were taken in by their relatives after their parents funeral. Hoseok had his family's fortune but his sister had nothing so they threw her away without letting him know. These people held him down, prevented him from doing anything, from finding her. These people locked him up for their own greed, for their own gains.

When Hoseok was emancipated, he took everything under his name and threw away those people who made him lose the only family he had. He moved constantly from place to place, looking for one girl who would have the slightest resemblance of his sister. Years passed, he lived by himself, supported himself, he moved to another place and met the people who he trusted and treated as his new family.

In that same year, the last day of winter came, he still hasn't found her. Hoseok had no idea if she was still alive somewhere or was he wasting his time looking for a dead girl. Though he prayed that she'd be alive. He bargained that she and in return, he'll give up searching for her. He would endure it again and again, as long as she lived a normal and happy life even though it would hurt him like hell.