"O. M. G. !!!!!!! WTF??!! What the heck is wrong with that cow????!!!!!!" The man screamed
"This is not just ANY COW!!!!! ITS....................................... HITLER!!"
I screamed at his eyeballs!
"Why'd you spit in my EYE BALLS 👀 ??!!!"
"Cause I. I........ LOVE YA!!!!!! Let's go, beautiful Hitler!!"
"Wait!!!!!!" The demented man said, " DO YOU WANNA BUILD A SNOWMAN!!! JK!!! Tee hee hee! Would you like... to go out for DINNER????!" He said with a demented frech accent.
"Oh yes!! I'd wove ( he actually said 'wove' ) to go out for dinner with YYYOOUUU!!!!
" Okay!! Meet me at the Cow Barn at 7:98 p.m. or just at regular midnight!
It'll be OUR midnight SNACK!!! HAR HAR!" He said sarcastically. But I knew well what he meant... 😈😈😈
***
It was 8:30 when I got to the Cow Barn, and I had decided to bring Hitler with me as the man apparently LOVED him!
So, I sat down at a table and started cursing about that grumpy old witch (SugarGoat joybug14 ) who had started stabbing Hitler when I was daydreaming about the old guys around the corner. So, now, as I looked Hitler in the eyeballs, I could see his pain, the pain of being stabbed 18.6 times. Anyways, at least he was all bandaged up and was as good as new ( kinda ). I waited for what felt like forever, and then, at 11:59, someone dropped at bag over my head, and tightened it, and started dragging me away. In the distance, I heard a scream, Hitler's scream...
***
The old Hole released me from his evil clutches. Then, as sack got removed from my face, I saw that it 'twas. IT 'TWAS. Just the man that had been barfed all over by Hitler and whom I was supposed to be meeting at The Cow Barn. He was so... BEAUTIFUL!!! My jaw dropped open. With his shiny grey hair, and old wrinkles almost identical to mine. But upon looking at him, I saw Cow-Barf in his hair. Then I looked around.
"Where's Hitler???" I asked impatiently
"He went for a smoke," he replied
"I thought I told him not to have more than 2 a day!!! Damn Cow. Shall we eat?" I said.
"Eat we shall," he said with a light smile. Then we linked arms tightly, and skipped away...
***
( Hitler ( P. O. V. ) )
As I mooed along the coast of the ship, I saw the most disturbing sight a cow could see. An old lady and what looked like her husband, eating MY OWN KIND!!!!! I barged into their 'meal' and turned around so that my behind was facing their 'food'. I said, "DON'T YOU EVER EAT MY KIND AGAIN!!!!!" Then, I swung my trusty tail at their plates and knocked off the cow-like substance. Then, the revolting man had the NERVE to speak to me. His disgusting voice said; "B--b-but," "No buts!!!" I said in disgust.
"This is chicken," the woman said in a REALLY deep voice. I turned around
"Ooh!!!! Oops, ummmm... enjoy your 'chicken'..." I said as I backed away slowly. The waiter came over to their table with a cow on two buns and said, "Here's your burger made from the finest cows to ever roam the earth." He walk away and I walked up to the couple and knocked them out with my front hooves. Suddenly I heard sirens and their they were, the Hoover patrol a.k.a the police... I ran as fast as my little legs could carry until I looked over at a nearby window to the old lady who drank from my utter. I passed out from disgust. And the Hoover patrol came and lassoed my neck near my cow bell and it went dark..
YOU ARE READING
The Titanic: The Death of A Dream~ Tibbula Jones' Diary
HumorTibbula Jones is one of the many passengers on the luxurious, grand RMS Titanic. He kept a diary to tell his future generations of family posted on what had happened. 96, and he was visiting his 'friend' ( a priest ) in California where he would spe...
