Dear Caspar

Dear Caspar,

Nobody notices how much one person can mean to you,

until that person is gone.

I've messed up multiple times in my life,

and now that its coming to an end,

all i have left,

is to think about everything i could have done differently.

Even though my life hasn't been great,

I still have made bad choices that i know.

have hurt other people.

And it's upsetting,

because,

as someone who knows what it feels like to be hurt,

i hate that I have hurt other people.

But you don't notice sometimes.

Sometimes it's telling yourself you're going to hurt this person,

you tell you're self you're going to hurt them,

to avoid hurting yourself.

But that just ends up hurting the other person.

It's a horrible thought.

That you could hurt someone,

by trying to save yourself.

It's an ongoing circle,

of pain,

and sadness.

I hate this world...

I hate pretending to be happy,

and thinking i'm moving forward.

Only to find out you're faking everything.

A few more days,

and none of this will matter Caspar.

God I hope you never feel this way,

i hope nobody feels this way.

Love always,

October.

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hey (: sorry it's taken so long to update...

i hate making friends in person... but i really want new people to talk to!

so if you're looking for someone to talk to dm me!! whether you read this the second u post it or two months later!

i really want friends to talk to ((:

i love you all xx