And Then I Found You

Grief of what once was perfect

It had been two days.

Two days and the pain was still as unbearable as moment she had looked at her phone screen. Still as fresh, still as confused.The exact moment when everything went still, as if time itself had stopped and all around her had frozen. That one moment that felt as if it was some kind of sick prank, some sick trick on her that someone was playing.

The redness of her watery eyes match her bleeding heart. The sore prick of tears that sprung with every passing minute matched the harsh pain inside her soul. The many tears she had already lost over these two days began to soak into her tired face. Her eyes may have looked alive and vibrant what with the tears and the red veins that surfaced but there was nothing there. They were hollow and filled with nothing but emptiness. The same emptiness that she felt inside. 

Helena never knew pain quite like this, pain that felt as if it had physically hurt her then mentally. She felt as if all air had been knocked out of her system, like she was winded in some kind of way. The suffering she had been going through these few days was worse then any physical injury she had ever endured in her life time.

She was still here. Sitting on the side of her bed staring out of her window just a meter away. She had not moved from her spot, she had only left to visit the bathroom or to check that nanny Anne was looking after both Billy and Nell. They had seen her in this state before, but they received nothing from their mother when they asked her what was wrong. It was as if she had turned mute, not only that but deaf as well. Every-time Billy, Nell and even Nanny Anne would attempt to speak to her she would never respond only nod when necessary or simply mutter the words 'I'm fine'

Of course they were all concerned about her. She was acting really peculiar, it was scary for the children to see her so fragile and well hurt? they had no idea what had gotten into her or what had happened. But what they did know was not to push her, Helena would eventually come around from what ever she was going through and then things would be back to normal, or so they hoped....

Looking at the bright tall green trees from her gorgeous garden Helena looked as if she was starring into oblivion, she didn't see the beautiful blue sky or the birds singing happily in the trees. What she could see was much darker, much more horrifying to her then any scary movie ever made. She saw the same images over and over again as if they were glued to her eyelids. Going to sleep was ever worse because the images she saw only because more distinctive and even began to play out in her mind. She felt sick, as if she was going crazy, those very images of their naked bodies touching and kissing one another, holding and caressing each others skin in that lightly lit room made her eyes sting more and more as those disturbing images came back to mind.

Those exact images that were sent to her phone. Sent to her phone by him. The anger and betrayal was nothing compared to the feeling of broken trust not to mention broken love. He had cheated. Johnny had committed the unimaginable and not only that he had broken his promise with her and her children, he had broken her heart. And this time there was no going back.

But it wasn't just the images on her phone that made her weep continuously into her hands. It was the replaying of her last happy hours with him before he left all those weeks ago to get back to America. Those were the heartbreaking moments that kept replying over in her mind making her heart morn for the love they had for each other.

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Johnny turned down the tv slightly as he was aware that Helena had obviously fallen asleep in his arms. He could only smirk at her resting against his chest as she napped so peacefully against his chest. He didn't want to have to move her nor did her want to have to move from such a comfy position with her sleeping peacefully against him. He could feel the soft heartbeats from her chest and the gentle breaths she took.