Vodka Over Love

{10} Say You Like Me

                   

 

                 

I took Benadryl so I would sleep till 2pm, the wonderful bags due to college life still clung under my eyes but I worked furiously to brush them away with the power of concealer. This ended up being a disaster because in the process of trying to look as perfect as a girl with a boy cut can, my cheeks began to flush and the amount of make-up I had on to attempt to hide it reminded me of a late Dolly Parton.

            An hour had passed and I was shaking, 50% coffee on an empty stomach, 50% nerves. My closet had thrown up all over my room and I just couldn't ignore the achy feeling in my chest that I was going to look like a try hard all night. Tiffany and Sid had both disappeared to meet with recruits for next year's Volley Ball team and for once I was happy to be alone while I faced my self-inflicted panic.

            I starred at my now not only naked, but irritated face in the mirror. "Listen here," I pointed at my reflection, half expecting it to cower in shame, "You will calm down and you will look good." I repeated this and a few other positive things before I took a breath and began again. I had five minutes till four when I slipped my favorite grey tank top over my head. The outfit was completed with a light layer of foundation, a soft brown eye shadow, coated lashes, and a soft denim pair of jeggings  that I had no doubt would pass as comfy, although let's be honest, I wore them because they cupped my ass perfectly.

            My phone began vibrating when I was choosing between a zip up hoodie or my crowl neck sweatshirt. I looked down to see Mikey's name light up the screen. I took a deep breath, embarrassed I was so nervous- than answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey pipsqueak, I'm outside." His voice was low as always, I couldn't detect any specific emotion which made me even more nervous than I already was.

Ignoring the annoying nick name I regained myself and tried not to shout, "I'll be out the door you dropped me off at in one second!"

I hung up, threw my zip up on along with my NorthFace and tried to take the appropriate amount of time to walk down the stairs and to his car.

It was about when I started to realize I was sweating profusely that I wondered what was so different about this date compared to all the others- why was I so nervous, why did I care about how long I took to get outside, why did I care at all? I was so engulfed in the confusion that I found myself mentally making a list trying to gain some answers. 

One, I wasn't drunk, which I guess played a role in my social skills In general. I had always had some sort of drastic out of body experience where I went from quiet and somewhat distant to an over confident mess trying to make friends with anyone in the room, so of course this change in nerves could pertain to the lack of alcohol rushing through my veins.

Two, this wasn't planned- I hadn't told myself nor my roommates once "oh I think I'll go after the guy who owns the hookah bar and see what happens, maybe we'll bang." Banging wasn't even a thought that crossed my mind about him (in fact it just made me flush more), one second we were enemies the next he was walking around town with me in the dark. In short, he came to me.

He came to me.

I got to the door and took one last deep breath, you will not walk outside and look nervous, you are confident and sort of sexy on a good day and capable of handling this situation with grace.

This is what I told myself right before tripping over the open door way.

Mikey was still laughing as we hit the interstate, I sat, arms crossed and ignoring the itch to punch him as hard as I could. I tried to look more bitchy than flustered but to be honest I wasn't sure what I looked like from his perspective. Probably like an idiot.