Sasa's Dollhouse

Glass Walls

Risa initially shrugged off Leni's apparent distance towards her as a bad day. After all, she knew random pangs of missing Jesse was always going to be part and parcel of being with her and thus she let her be when she went through that phase most days because she knew Leni's going to be back to her usual self the next day or two.

But this time, days stretched to weeks, then months, and no matter what Risa did, she couldn't get Leni to snap out of the state of affairs she's in. It felt like she's facing a glass ceiling with Leni.

It's like she's there, but not there at the same time.

At first, she dropped subtle hints in the hopes that Leni would understand, but alas she didn't. As always, she skirted the issue and found a convenient excuse to wiggle herself out of the conversation.

Then dinnertime, the two of them, plus the seven children they have all in all, shared a meal together. The children shared hearty, boisterous talks together and they've gotten along swimmingly well.

Unfortunately, the same couldn't be said about her and Leni.

Risa was at a loss. And so, she finally confronted her. "Pangga, pwede ba tayong mag-usap? Or are you just going to skirt around the issue like you always do."

Leni suddenly snapped. "Do you really think ganun lang kadali mag-get over sa kanya? 25 years, Risa. 25 years or nearly my entire adult life na kasama ko siya."

The tears threatening to come out have now started to fall from her face. "No, Pangga, wala akong sinasabing ganun. I just want to feel like I'm not just an option na pwede mong itapon lang."

"But you were never just an option to me, Risa." Leni said. "Di ko alam kung anong ginawa ko that made you feel that way."

Risa shook her head. "Sabihin mo lang kung hindi ka pa handa. Kaya kong maghintay, but I refuse to play this game."

"What game? I'm not playing any games with you"

She hung her head and dragged her feet out. "Di niya naiintindihan."

"Hindi ko naman sinasabi na kalimutan mo siya. Sana lang, kahit minsan, isipin mo rin nararamdaman ko"

With that, she got up and walked straight out of the door, leaving a shocked, aghast Leni behind her still at a loss.

The next day, Leni woke up, thinking it was all just a dream. But the empty spot beside her bed proved that what just happened was all real. After a few moments of staring into space, she realized it was raining. She thought of Risa and how her arms would would have been her blanket by now.

---

A couple of days later, during a particularly rainy day, she received a text from Loren. "Leni, alam mo ba nasaan si Risa? Wala siya kanina eh. Two days nang hindi pumapasok."

Leni's breathing stopped upon reading the message. Loren doesn't usually text her about Risa unless it was something of utmost importance. "Where could Risa be? Kasalanan ko 'to eh!"

She tried to call Risa, she sent a thousand messages. Nothing.

"Where could she be? Umuulan pa naman..."

She then drove back to Risa's house in QC, only for one of her daughters to tell her they can't contact their mama. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know where to start looking for her. Her panic intensified even more.

She then asked herself: "Where would she go if she has no one to turn?"After which she proceeded to dial Pia's number.

Pia had no idea about her sisters' whereabouts as well. Leni was so so tired already, but she can't give up.

Moments later an unregistered number made her phone buzz. "Hello?"

"Ma'am Leni?"
"Yes, sino to?"
"Si Senator Risa po nandito sa hospital. Isa po ako sa mga nurse."

Leni screamed into her phone. "ANONG NANGYARI SA KANYA???"

"Nabangga po sasakyan niya."

Leni's mind went blank.