Sasa's Dollhouse

New Memories

Christmas spirit filled the Naga City air the next morning. Simbang Gabi just ended, hence the crowds, and the sweet smell of cooking bibingka and puto bumbong emanated from the small stall right in front of the church. 

It's been a long while since the Robredos experienced such a sight, having not gone to Naga at this time of the years ever since Jesse died due to the overwhelming memories associated with them.

This time, however, Leni took it all in. Every smell, taste, sight, sound of it all. She then looked behind her to see Aika, Tricia and Jillian laughing and playing around and pointing out things they've missed for so many years.

Leni closed her eyes and inhaled the air.

All throughout, Risa's eyes remained glued to the concrete pavement while she contemplated about the events of the past few days. How she wished her four children were here with her, but it wasn't the right time yet, and they  would understand.

Then all of a sudden she felt something creeping up her hand. She looked up to see who it was, only to find Leni's hand holding hers and the sweetest smile greeting in front of her.

"Tara, Pangga?"

Leni nodded. "Tara."

The five of them walked the path to Eternal Gardens, where Jesse was laid to rest like he wanted to. Of course, his resting place was easy to find, given black marble walls and the lone bust at the center.

The five of them murmured a few prayers and messages to him. Something along the lines of finally being together with him on Christmas, in the place they call home.

"Ma, lakad lang kami saglit." Tricia told Leni and Risa before heading off.

Now with the two of them standing right in front of Jesse, Risa's words became louder and clearer, yet with the same delicate sweetness that she always had. "Jess, si Risa ito. Mahal na mahal ka ni Leni, Jess, and alam kong mahal ko rin hiya. Don't worry, aalagaan ko siya, at ung mga anak niyo. Sana masaya kayo diyan ni Frank."

Risa then squeezed Leni's hand even more tightly, prompting Leni to squeeze back. "Di ko siya bibitawan, promise yan."

Leni then let out a slight giggle and kissed her on the lips.

Later that afternoon, Leni got up, took out three big boxes and carried them to the bedroom. Slowly, she took out Jesse's clothes and other paraphernalia and neatly placed them in the boxes. She scouted the rest of the house and took out whatever she could, only leaving out a few items meant for their daughters, which would sort out with the children.

Adrenaline pumped into her veins as she cleared house, making sure every nook and cranny was accounted for. 

Leni sank back to her bed and looked at the boxes to to process everything.

She couldn't believe she did it.

She managed to clean out Jesse's things.

It felt like ripping a band-aid off. Her heart stung seeing all his things put away. The wound felt so fresh all over again, but it was a necessary step. Besides, Jesse, as clingy as he was even when he was alive, would probably tell her not to hold on when it's starting to adversely affect her and everyone around her.

She clung to the necklace with his ashes inside. "Bok, kahit naligpit ko na yung gamit mo, di pa rin kita papabayaan. Kahit na malulong pa ako sa pag-ibig ng iba, di pa rin kita malilimutan."

Leni took a deep breath and slowly, yet surely, her heart started to feel more at peace again knowing that's she's doing the right thing.

"Ga?" Risa's delicate voice called out, the three children right behind her. "What's with all the noise--"

They stopped on their tracks upon seeing all the boxes in front of them. They just stared at them for a good few minutes before shifting sights on the empty cabinets.

"Ma, did you just?" Tricia said, eyes widening at what she's seeing.

"It's time, and I'm finally ready." Leni said.

She stood in front of the door and closed her eyes to pray. "God, Please tell me I'm doing the right thing for us, for the children, and for her."

After finishing her prayer, Leni took out the denim pants and shirt hanging on the door and placed them in the box along with his other clothes before sealing all three boxes with packaging tape and wrote labels with a pentel pen.

Leni huffed and wiped the sweat of her forehead. It was the start of a new chapter in her life, and she's finally ready to make new memories with her new, bigger family.